I watched a movie with my family last night that left a deep impression. It was not a huge box office success and it went quietly to video with no awards or fanfare, but it left a tremendous impression on me. The movie was Marley. Maybe you have seen it. If not, here is the basic story line.
A young married couple embarks on their lifelong journey together with promising careers as journalists. They are young, happy and in love, and she, the more disciplined and ambitious of the two, systematically checks the boxes in her 7 step plan for life. They are approaching the ‘children box’ at a different pace, so the husband decides to stall the inevitable by getting Marley, better known as ‘the clearance puppy.’
Marley is ‘the worst dog in the world’ and destroys nearly everything he touches except their hearts. Surprisingly, the husband finds his voice and his fame as a columnist in writing about everyday adventures of their life with Marley. His career flourishes. The couple is eventually blessed with children, three of them in fact, and life changes. It is not bad. It’s just not at all what they expected. Upon the arrival of child number two, she decides to sacrifice her career to be a full time mom and discovers that motherhood is more challenging than she could have possibly anticipated. At one particularly stressful period, they are all ready to throw in the towel.
In a defining moment, she admits to her husband that it is all more overwhelming than she imagined. “I have given up so much of what it is that made me, me,” she confesses. This is the turning point that every mother reaches. We have lost our self. Or at least we think we have, because we are looking in the wrong places. We are measuring our lives in terms of our ‘independence’ instead of our ‘interdependence’.
The great Stephen Covey writes about this in his book, “The seven Habits of Highly Effective People. He reminds us that we come into the world dependent on others, then transition to a phase of independence and eventually, through maturity, we reach our most important and meaningful phase—that of interdependence. Interdependence is the power curve of life, in which we realize that our contribution, gifts and relationships create and shape our life much more than our ‘independence’ ever could. This is the essences and beauty of mother hood. I bet almost every mother can remember the exact moment in which she realized this simple truth. And even though it seems we have given up our independence, we really find ourselves in our ‘interdependence’.
To most, the movie Marley was about the joys, sorrows and unconditional love that our pets provide and the unforgettable imprint they leave in our hearts. To me, this movie was much more. Mother’s Day is a celebration of our interdependence. On Mother’s Day, our loved ones engage in a valiant and heartfelt effort to create for us “the perfect day.” This mother’s day, I got breakfast in bed compliments of my son and received a beautiful necklace he made from herbs from his garden. I am wearing an exquisite pair of beaded earrings made by my daughter, and received an early morning surprise from my husband of 15 years. They even allowed me an hour of writing time so I could make this tribute to the mom’s of the world. My family is giving me the perfect day!
As Mother’s, we must embrace these tributes from our loved ones while remembering that while Mother’s Day is special, each day is a perfect day. For it is in the journey, not the destination that mothers make their biggest impact and are at their interdependent best. May God bless all the mothers on the planet and allow them to enjoy their perfect day!
Copywright, 2009: Kim Bauer, wife, mother, and writer
www.homeschoolin-mama.blogspot.com
Showing posts with label 5th grade home schooling. Show all posts
Showing posts with label 5th grade home schooling. Show all posts
Sunday, May 10, 2009
Sunday, April 5, 2009
Benjamin Franklin and the Art of Persuasion. (Part one)
My children and I are reading the autobiography of Benjamin Franklin as part of our home grown leadership program. His writing style is simple, elegant, concise, and humorous. This manuscript is written to his son, and he shares the story of his life as if he is sitting in the room with him, casually conveying the intimate details of the defining moments of his life and the lessons he learned from them.
I thought I knew quite a bit about Benjamin Franklin and his achievements as an inventor, a diplomat, a printer and an author. I was not aware however, that underlying his undisputed genius, was an intense, self directed passion for the art of persuasion. I am inclined to believe this provides a simple explanation as to why his talents and contributions were so vast and legendary and why, during his own time, and even to this day, he is viewed as one of our most pre-eminent “thought leaders”.
The guiding principles of his life seemed to be to observe, to listen, to improve and to persuade, and he enthusiastically applied these principles to each of his notable endeavors. The first three principles, while significant, would have been fruitless without the fourth. He could observe, listen, and improve, but if he hadn’t developed his powers of persuasion, his improvements (i.e. inventions, literary works, and diplomacy) might not have been embraced.
I am finding it invaluable to encourage my children to see beyond the significant accomplishments of the leaders we study to the underlying principles which guided them. In the case of Benjamin Franklin, exposing my children to the persuasive part of his nature is like studying the basic ingredients for life mastery. Instead of following the lessons of a poorly written 5th grade reading and writing primer, they are learning first-hand, from the words actually written by him, in context of a the past which has shaped our culture as we know it.
As a mostly self-educated man, his autobiography reveals that he was an excellent listener and observer of events around him and that, having no formal curriculum; this is what motivated and directed his education. When he saw awkwardness, failure, or shortcomings in human nature or process, he called upon his guiding principles. The stories of his ingenious and self-directed methods of learning, and his sly attempts to get published, provided humor and examples of pure ingenuity. I could see the wheels turning in my children’s heads as they were listening with intensity. Instead of minds closing from boredom, they were opening from inspiration. It was a poignant lesson that they should move beyond “writing for the sake of writing,” striving first for thought leadership, and then for the mastery of persuasion.
Persuasion, whether written or spoken can be used for good or evil, to create or to destroy, to hinder or to heal. God has given us the gift of thought, and I believe we have the responsibility to take great care in crafting what we say and choosing the ideal communication format, be it poetry, prose, oration or conversation. I have spoken before about the importance of helping our children transcend knowledge to gain wisdom. For me, this kind of learning (straight from the source, so to speak) bridges the gap.
Regarding his view on the power of persuasion, Benjamin Franklin wrote…
… “and as the chief ends of conversation are to inform, or to be informed, to please or to persuade, I wish well meaning sensible men would not lessen their power of doing good by a positive assuming manner that seldom fails to disgust, tends to create opposition and to defeat every one of those purposes for which speech was given to us”…
And of his methods for learning he wrote…
“I continued this method for some few years, but gradually left it, retaining only the habit of expressing myself in terms of modest diffidence, never using when I advance anything that may possibly be disputed, the words, certainly, undoubtedly, or any others that give the air of positiveness to an opinion; but rather say, I conceive, or I apprehend a thing to be so or so, It appears to me, or I should think it so or so for such and such reasons, or I imagine it to be so, or It is so if I am not mistaken.”
There are memorable lessons to be learned in these passages that apply to forming compelling thoughts and then arranging our words into persuasive communication. Benjamin Franklin confesses he didn’t naturally possess these skills. He studied, practiced and mastered them, and the stories he shares convey important concepts such as:
The important message is that without his propensity and mastery of the powers of persuasion, this great man as he was known by his contemporaries, and as we remember him generations later, owed much of his success to his communication skills. Even when we are all grown up with our degrees adorning our walls and our business cards, it is my feeling that the world would become a better place if we would all continue to improve upon our communication skills. And, we cannot ignore the fact that in a world where “noise” comes at us from all directions, our children, even more so than ourselves, need to master the art of persuasion, for they are the thought leaders of tomorrow.
Stay tuned for my thoughts on how Benjamin Franklin would view our new world of social media.
I thought I knew quite a bit about Benjamin Franklin and his achievements as an inventor, a diplomat, a printer and an author. I was not aware however, that underlying his undisputed genius, was an intense, self directed passion for the art of persuasion. I am inclined to believe this provides a simple explanation as to why his talents and contributions were so vast and legendary and why, during his own time, and even to this day, he is viewed as one of our most pre-eminent “thought leaders”.
The guiding principles of his life seemed to be to observe, to listen, to improve and to persuade, and he enthusiastically applied these principles to each of his notable endeavors. The first three principles, while significant, would have been fruitless without the fourth. He could observe, listen, and improve, but if he hadn’t developed his powers of persuasion, his improvements (i.e. inventions, literary works, and diplomacy) might not have been embraced.
I am finding it invaluable to encourage my children to see beyond the significant accomplishments of the leaders we study to the underlying principles which guided them. In the case of Benjamin Franklin, exposing my children to the persuasive part of his nature is like studying the basic ingredients for life mastery. Instead of following the lessons of a poorly written 5th grade reading and writing primer, they are learning first-hand, from the words actually written by him, in context of a the past which has shaped our culture as we know it.
As a mostly self-educated man, his autobiography reveals that he was an excellent listener and observer of events around him and that, having no formal curriculum; this is what motivated and directed his education. When he saw awkwardness, failure, or shortcomings in human nature or process, he called upon his guiding principles. The stories of his ingenious and self-directed methods of learning, and his sly attempts to get published, provided humor and examples of pure ingenuity. I could see the wheels turning in my children’s heads as they were listening with intensity. Instead of minds closing from boredom, they were opening from inspiration. It was a poignant lesson that they should move beyond “writing for the sake of writing,” striving first for thought leadership, and then for the mastery of persuasion.
Persuasion, whether written or spoken can be used for good or evil, to create or to destroy, to hinder or to heal. God has given us the gift of thought, and I believe we have the responsibility to take great care in crafting what we say and choosing the ideal communication format, be it poetry, prose, oration or conversation. I have spoken before about the importance of helping our children transcend knowledge to gain wisdom. For me, this kind of learning (straight from the source, so to speak) bridges the gap.
Regarding his view on the power of persuasion, Benjamin Franklin wrote…
… “and as the chief ends of conversation are to inform, or to be informed, to please or to persuade, I wish well meaning sensible men would not lessen their power of doing good by a positive assuming manner that seldom fails to disgust, tends to create opposition and to defeat every one of those purposes for which speech was given to us”…
And of his methods for learning he wrote…
“I continued this method for some few years, but gradually left it, retaining only the habit of expressing myself in terms of modest diffidence, never using when I advance anything that may possibly be disputed, the words, certainly, undoubtedly, or any others that give the air of positiveness to an opinion; but rather say, I conceive, or I apprehend a thing to be so or so, It appears to me, or I should think it so or so for such and such reasons, or I imagine it to be so, or It is so if I am not mistaken.”
There are memorable lessons to be learned in these passages that apply to forming compelling thoughts and then arranging our words into persuasive communication. Benjamin Franklin confesses he didn’t naturally possess these skills. He studied, practiced and mastered them, and the stories he shares convey important concepts such as:
Repetition is the mother of skill.
Seek first to understand, not to be understood.
Men should be taught as if you taught them not.
My intent is not to recount the entire autobiography of Benjamin Franklin in this essay. If you are interested, I highly recommend this edition from the Easton Press for it was carefully and beautifully printed from the manuscript as Franklin wrote it, including his preliminary outline. Thank you, Mom and Dad for the beautiful gift!
The important message is that without his propensity and mastery of the powers of persuasion, this great man as he was known by his contemporaries, and as we remember him generations later, owed much of his success to his communication skills. Even when we are all grown up with our degrees adorning our walls and our business cards, it is my feeling that the world would become a better place if we would all continue to improve upon our communication skills. And, we cannot ignore the fact that in a world where “noise” comes at us from all directions, our children, even more so than ourselves, need to master the art of persuasion, for they are the thought leaders of tomorrow.
Stay tuned for my thoughts on how Benjamin Franklin would view our new world of social media.
Friday, February 20, 2009
The Fifth Thing I Love About Home School--Progress!
I had my first meeting today with my ES to present proof of our “progress”. In the home school world, the ES or Education Specialist is the master teacher who oversees a group of home schooling families. She has accountability to make sure families are progressing towards their goals.
I have been nervously anticipating this meeting for a few weeks. Would we “measure up?” Or would we be sent back to our desks to redo our work? I spent about 3 hours last night reviewing and carefully selecting work samples from all our subject areas that would best represent my children’s progress. I packaged it up neatly, along with our attendance records and curriculum in preparation for the meeting.
The meeting went great. In fact, it was somewhat anticlimactic when I found out that the only person to see our work is our ES and that the samples I so thoughtfully selected basically sit in a storage facility awaiting future possible audit. Should there be one, I’ll volunteer to have my file reviewed, just so someone else can bear witness to our progress.
It turns out, the old “hold onto the paper for 7 years routine” applies to home school too. After being in business for myself for years, I could have purchased a mountain cabin in Aspen for what I have spent in storage space in order to comply with state and federally mandated “record keeping”. But I didn’t even care. It was sort of like life. I am enjoying the journey rather than the destination. These meetings are merely symbolic milestones for parents to measure progress. And reviewing our progress left me 100% certain that we have made the right choice for our family and children.
Learning at home is whatever you decide to make of it. And thanks to the efforts and participation of my children, we are getting a lot out of our homeschooling adventure. The level of learning is incredible. The flexibility is awesome! I keep a log of “projects” I want to do. The only thing lacking is the time to do them all. In the last 6 weeks, we have been able to do so much that we wouldn’t have if we were obligated to school. But that’s just where I want to be in my world right now, and I realize that we are all on different paths.
Here’s what I believe applies to all of us. No matter what our circumstances in life, we need to take time to measure and appreciate our progress. We also need to realize that just small, incremental improvements in a given area add up to tremendous improvements over time. Someone once said to me, “you don’t have to change everything overnight. In fact, you’ll be more successful in the long run at reaching your goals if you make small but consistent improvements.” You must remain committed to your outcome, because sometimes your progress will seem imperceptible. But then you’ll have a moment like I did yesterday, when you step back and take an objective look at what you’ve accomplished and think, “that’s pretty awesome!”
Enjoy your successes and share them often. Move confidently in the direction of your dreams, and don’t forget to celebrate your progress along the way!
I have been nervously anticipating this meeting for a few weeks. Would we “measure up?” Or would we be sent back to our desks to redo our work? I spent about 3 hours last night reviewing and carefully selecting work samples from all our subject areas that would best represent my children’s progress. I packaged it up neatly, along with our attendance records and curriculum in preparation for the meeting.
The meeting went great. In fact, it was somewhat anticlimactic when I found out that the only person to see our work is our ES and that the samples I so thoughtfully selected basically sit in a storage facility awaiting future possible audit. Should there be one, I’ll volunteer to have my file reviewed, just so someone else can bear witness to our progress.
It turns out, the old “hold onto the paper for 7 years routine” applies to home school too. After being in business for myself for years, I could have purchased a mountain cabin in Aspen for what I have spent in storage space in order to comply with state and federally mandated “record keeping”. But I didn’t even care. It was sort of like life. I am enjoying the journey rather than the destination. These meetings are merely symbolic milestones for parents to measure progress. And reviewing our progress left me 100% certain that we have made the right choice for our family and children.
Learning at home is whatever you decide to make of it. And thanks to the efforts and participation of my children, we are getting a lot out of our homeschooling adventure. The level of learning is incredible. The flexibility is awesome! I keep a log of “projects” I want to do. The only thing lacking is the time to do them all. In the last 6 weeks, we have been able to do so much that we wouldn’t have if we were obligated to school. But that’s just where I want to be in my world right now, and I realize that we are all on different paths.
Here’s what I believe applies to all of us. No matter what our circumstances in life, we need to take time to measure and appreciate our progress. We also need to realize that just small, incremental improvements in a given area add up to tremendous improvements over time. Someone once said to me, “you don’t have to change everything overnight. In fact, you’ll be more successful in the long run at reaching your goals if you make small but consistent improvements.” You must remain committed to your outcome, because sometimes your progress will seem imperceptible. But then you’ll have a moment like I did yesterday, when you step back and take an objective look at what you’ve accomplished and think, “that’s pretty awesome!”
Enjoy your successes and share them often. Move confidently in the direction of your dreams, and don’t forget to celebrate your progress along the way!
Sunday, February 15, 2009
Is Your Life Holding You Hostage? Take It Back!
I have been getting the “why” question a lot lately. In fact, a mom responded thoughtfully to one of my blogs on Cafemom.com today and inquired about a seeming discrepancy in something I wrote. I mentioned that before our decision to home school, we were in a lovely Catholic school with great teachers. She wanted to know why we made the decision to home school if we were happy with our school. It wasn’t that anything was specifically wrong. It was that everything wasn’t right!
I felt we could do so much better! I knew in my heart that our family was being pulled in too many directions. We were starved for any kind of time, let alone quality family time. We were suffering, individually and as a family. There weren’t any alarming behavioral problems. The kids were getting great grades, developing friendships and they were generally in a good mood when I picked them up. But the little things were adding up. Bickering in the car on the way home, hardly being able to get out of bed in the morning, being unenthusiastic and resistant to the next organized activity or event posed constant parenting challenges. I was tired, impatient and crabby, and I am adult who can control my emotions. My children definitely weren’t getting the best of me. If I was tired and crabby, I knew they must be too, even more so.
My observation is that as a society, we are caught up in a predetermined and unquestioned system of operating. We are so “caught up in keeping up”, that we don’t have the time and energy to question why we are doing it until something dramatic happens. Every home school parent I have spoken too has had their “straw that broke the camel’s back” moment--that unforgettable moment of truth that caused them to take a second look at what they were doing, question everything, and acknowledge that things could be different.
I had that moment. Several of them, in fact, had stacked on top of each other until I had reached my personal breaking point. The system was holding my family hostage. I was like Mel Gibson in the movie Ransom—I wanted my family back, and I was willing to pay any price! Ironically, the price I am paying now is significantly less than that private school cost.
We are a pretty typical family, I think. My husband and I have been married for 14 years. We have two kids and a dog. My husband works, a lot. I had my own company for the last 20 years, and have decided now to stay at home to teach the kids. Our kids are involved in a number of activities and have active social lives. It wasn’t that we wanted to give things up as much as it was that we wanted to use our time more effectively so we could spend more time with each other. Serving as the family chauffeur, putting on 100 + miles per day so that other people could teach and influence my children didn’t seem to be the best use of time. It certainly wasn’t in the best interest of my family. It wasn’t working for us. With home school, we have cut most of the driving, increased our learning, eliminated homework (don’t get me started on homework as the world’s greatest time stealer), and taken back our family life.
I want to stress, that I am not here to criticize traditional school or those who choose that path. We, personally have been in schools we have loved and some that were not so great. I know many folks in great schools that are thrilled. They system works for them. I have also met some home school families who really aren’t doing their kids any favor. So there can be problems with any system as well as benefits.
What I AM advocating is that we all take a serious look at our lives to see what is working and what is not working. Life is short. If something isn’t working, change it. As a society, we need to question the distractions in our lives that keep us from remaining family focused. We live in a country that encourages creative solutions. Anything is possible with imagination, creativity, resourcefulness and flexibility.
If your life is holding you hostage, take it back! The power to choose the life we have dreamed of is entirely within our control.
I felt we could do so much better! I knew in my heart that our family was being pulled in too many directions. We were starved for any kind of time, let alone quality family time. We were suffering, individually and as a family. There weren’t any alarming behavioral problems. The kids were getting great grades, developing friendships and they were generally in a good mood when I picked them up. But the little things were adding up. Bickering in the car on the way home, hardly being able to get out of bed in the morning, being unenthusiastic and resistant to the next organized activity or event posed constant parenting challenges. I was tired, impatient and crabby, and I am adult who can control my emotions. My children definitely weren’t getting the best of me. If I was tired and crabby, I knew they must be too, even more so.
My observation is that as a society, we are caught up in a predetermined and unquestioned system of operating. We are so “caught up in keeping up”, that we don’t have the time and energy to question why we are doing it until something dramatic happens. Every home school parent I have spoken too has had their “straw that broke the camel’s back” moment--that unforgettable moment of truth that caused them to take a second look at what they were doing, question everything, and acknowledge that things could be different.
I had that moment. Several of them, in fact, had stacked on top of each other until I had reached my personal breaking point. The system was holding my family hostage. I was like Mel Gibson in the movie Ransom—I wanted my family back, and I was willing to pay any price! Ironically, the price I am paying now is significantly less than that private school cost.
We are a pretty typical family, I think. My husband and I have been married for 14 years. We have two kids and a dog. My husband works, a lot. I had my own company for the last 20 years, and have decided now to stay at home to teach the kids. Our kids are involved in a number of activities and have active social lives. It wasn’t that we wanted to give things up as much as it was that we wanted to use our time more effectively so we could spend more time with each other. Serving as the family chauffeur, putting on 100 + miles per day so that other people could teach and influence my children didn’t seem to be the best use of time. It certainly wasn’t in the best interest of my family. It wasn’t working for us. With home school, we have cut most of the driving, increased our learning, eliminated homework (don’t get me started on homework as the world’s greatest time stealer), and taken back our family life.
I want to stress, that I am not here to criticize traditional school or those who choose that path. We, personally have been in schools we have loved and some that were not so great. I know many folks in great schools that are thrilled. They system works for them. I have also met some home school families who really aren’t doing their kids any favor. So there can be problems with any system as well as benefits.
What I AM advocating is that we all take a serious look at our lives to see what is working and what is not working. Life is short. If something isn’t working, change it. As a society, we need to question the distractions in our lives that keep us from remaining family focused. We live in a country that encourages creative solutions. Anything is possible with imagination, creativity, resourcefulness and flexibility.
If your life is holding you hostage, take it back! The power to choose the life we have dreamed of is entirely within our control.
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
The Secret to Living is giving! And why Actions Speak Louder Than Words!
Six weeks in and loving it! In my mind, we’re now officially “home schoolers!” I was poignantly reminded of this when we walked into Color Me Mine, a local “make your own pottery place” that we frequent under the guise of “art class”. We were there to pick up our latest masterpieces. The clerk at the counter asked the kids if they had started their Valentines yet, and I chuckled. “We’re home schooled”, I quickly offered. “We don’t have to do those anymore.” And subconsciously, I felt myself release a HUGE sigh of relief as I recalled prior years and what Valentine’s Day meant in our world.
Typically, I hadn’t planned ahead. Usually, it hit me in the early evening the night before that I had again failed as a mother by not preparing for this event in July. My children would be shunned. Where would I find decent Valentines at 7:30 p.m. on a school night? Would I really have the energy to make the pilgrimage to every local Rite Aid until I found them? How could I then coerce my children to stay up until the wee hours of the morning writing notes of endearment to 25 acquaintances that they honestly weren’t that fond of? I even ventured into the extreme danger zone. “What is the worst thing that could happen if we just didn’t bring anything?” Ouch. Thankfully, we never went there. But, we never did school Valentine’s Day very well, and I was overjoyed to realize that I was leaving it behind!
Then, almost miraculously, I noticed a very sweet scene unfolding at the table next to the counter where we awaited our “prized creations”. A young father, with his two, itty bitty daughters had taken their Saturday afternoon to paint heart shaped statues with their heartfelt thoughts of appreciation lovingly expressed in color palettes that only a 3 and 5 year old could conceive of. First and foremost, I was in awe about the fact that he had planned so far ahead. His biggest dilemma now was whether to pay the $5 rush charge to absolutely guarantee, without a doubt that his wife could receive these treasures on Valentine’s Day. (He opted for the rush fee by the way. This guy was committed!)
How wonderful, I thought to myself. He took it upon himself to surprise his wife with these selfless displays of giving and he involved his children in the process. Think of the life lessons. Think of the memories. Think of the love his wife would feel and she opened these treasures on Valentine’s morning! (This guy would be good at homeschooling, I thought). And the amazing thing is (in my opinion at least) that he nailed it! As a mom, what I want most from my loved ones are these earnest and spontaneous gestures of unconditional love. Forget the flowers. Skip the chocolate! It’s appreciation, acknowledgment and a great back rub that I crave more than anything.
How “coincidental” it was that this caught my attention now. Our leadership topic for this week is “It is better to give than to receive”. It left me wondering what it is that my own significant other craves more than anything this Valentine’s Day. How far would a selfless gesture of our appreciation go in his mind? Sounds like an experiment worth pursuing. Hmmm. … I need to start on this now.
It also left me thinking that I could get it together for once in my life and have the kids make Valentines for the people in their life that are truly important to them and maybe, just maybe (I am not promising anything) get them in the mail in time to make a difference on that special day!
I have our “house rules” posted in the heart of our home--our refrigerator. The title, in 72 pt bold type says The Secret to Living is Giving! And this is followed by a list of Eder Family commandments by which we must abide. Somehow, I hope that each day as they grab their physical sustenance, they absorb some spiritual sustenance. I am not sure it is working. In fact, I am pretty sure that they selectively ignore this reminder now. As a back-up plan, I have a great curriculum laid out this for this week with excerpts from “giving gurus” to help my kids understand this important concept; “It is better to give than to receive.” My children will listen with varying degrees of open-mindedness, I am sure.
But sometimes it is the simple things, like actually doing something that mean so much more! Actions do speak louder than words. THERE ARE FOUR DAYS LEFT UNTIL VALENTINE’S DAY, a radio commercial just screamed to me. We’ll be getting busy now!
Typically, I hadn’t planned ahead. Usually, it hit me in the early evening the night before that I had again failed as a mother by not preparing for this event in July. My children would be shunned. Where would I find decent Valentines at 7:30 p.m. on a school night? Would I really have the energy to make the pilgrimage to every local Rite Aid until I found them? How could I then coerce my children to stay up until the wee hours of the morning writing notes of endearment to 25 acquaintances that they honestly weren’t that fond of? I even ventured into the extreme danger zone. “What is the worst thing that could happen if we just didn’t bring anything?” Ouch. Thankfully, we never went there. But, we never did school Valentine’s Day very well, and I was overjoyed to realize that I was leaving it behind!
Then, almost miraculously, I noticed a very sweet scene unfolding at the table next to the counter where we awaited our “prized creations”. A young father, with his two, itty bitty daughters had taken their Saturday afternoon to paint heart shaped statues with their heartfelt thoughts of appreciation lovingly expressed in color palettes that only a 3 and 5 year old could conceive of. First and foremost, I was in awe about the fact that he had planned so far ahead. His biggest dilemma now was whether to pay the $5 rush charge to absolutely guarantee, without a doubt that his wife could receive these treasures on Valentine’s Day. (He opted for the rush fee by the way. This guy was committed!)
How wonderful, I thought to myself. He took it upon himself to surprise his wife with these selfless displays of giving and he involved his children in the process. Think of the life lessons. Think of the memories. Think of the love his wife would feel and she opened these treasures on Valentine’s morning! (This guy would be good at homeschooling, I thought). And the amazing thing is (in my opinion at least) that he nailed it! As a mom, what I want most from my loved ones are these earnest and spontaneous gestures of unconditional love. Forget the flowers. Skip the chocolate! It’s appreciation, acknowledgment and a great back rub that I crave more than anything.
How “coincidental” it was that this caught my attention now. Our leadership topic for this week is “It is better to give than to receive”. It left me wondering what it is that my own significant other craves more than anything this Valentine’s Day. How far would a selfless gesture of our appreciation go in his mind? Sounds like an experiment worth pursuing. Hmmm. … I need to start on this now.
It also left me thinking that I could get it together for once in my life and have the kids make Valentines for the people in their life that are truly important to them and maybe, just maybe (I am not promising anything) get them in the mail in time to make a difference on that special day!
I have our “house rules” posted in the heart of our home--our refrigerator. The title, in 72 pt bold type says The Secret to Living is Giving! And this is followed by a list of Eder Family commandments by which we must abide. Somehow, I hope that each day as they grab their physical sustenance, they absorb some spiritual sustenance. I am not sure it is working. In fact, I am pretty sure that they selectively ignore this reminder now. As a back-up plan, I have a great curriculum laid out this for this week with excerpts from “giving gurus” to help my kids understand this important concept; “It is better to give than to receive.” My children will listen with varying degrees of open-mindedness, I am sure.
But sometimes it is the simple things, like actually doing something that mean so much more! Actions do speak louder than words. THERE ARE FOUR DAYS LEFT UNTIL VALENTINE’S DAY, a radio commercial just screamed to me. We’ll be getting busy now!
Friday, February 6, 2009
Week 5 Wrap up—Unlimited Possibilities.
This week we studied the concept of opening your mind to unlimited possibilities so you can create a masterpiece for your life. There’s a fantastic scene in the musical Wicked in which the main character, the Bad witch Elphaba, reaches her breaking point. If you’re not familiar with this story, she is actually the good witch but society has labeled her as “the bad witch” because of her appearance. And the character we all know as Glenda the good witch in the Wizard of Oz, who is Galinda with a “ga” in Wicked, turns out to not be so good after all.
Elphaba, has been ostracized her whole life for her freakishly green color, and has been told she will never amount to anything. But she knows deep in the crevasses of her soul that she is so much more than the limits that have been placed upon her by herself and others. In the climactic song, Defying Gravity, she vows to vanquish the limits on her life so she can fulfill her destiny and unleash her awesome magical powers to manifest good.
I believe we all have awesome magical powers and we can all do the same!
As part of our leadership series this week, the kids and I partook in a guided meditation that turned us into futuristic warriors with light savors. We ceremoniously zapped the problems out of our lives. With a clear head, we were free to discover the possibilities we can create when there are no limits, self imposed or otherwise, to hold us back.
This process was not only fun, but shed some very interesting insight into the minds of my children. Possibilities emerged such as “becoming the 50th president of the United States”, and “starring as Galinda in the Wicked Musical” and filming a movie on top of the Hollywood sign. Big dreams out of little packages, but entirely attainable with a little focus, preparation and practice.
As adults, how often do we metaphorically try to defy gravity? Dr. Wayne Dyer very wisely suggests that it’s never too late, and that we should not leave this planet with our music still in us. But have the pressures of daily life, our own self doubt, fear of failure and extenuating external circumstances caused us to turn the volume down so low on our own music that we can no longer hear it?
The author, Sark, speaks of bodacious succulent living. I love that phrase! Just the silliness of it puts me immediately in a “no limits” state of mind. I think it’s time for all of us to create some bodacious succulence in our lives. I like to start off each year with this Bodacious Succulence session. I have not called it that in the past. I have simply called it my annual “no limits goals session”, but going forward I have decided to adopt Sark’s language.
This process is very fun whether you do it alone or with someone. All you need is a quiet spot, an open mind, some great inspiring music and something to write with. (The theme from Star Wars works great for the first part of this, by the way).
Here’s what you do: Meditate for a few moments (that simply means be quiet and close your eyes). Become completely child-like and transform yourself into that legend in your own mind--your best warrior self, in full color and larger than life. See yourself on the big screen if it helps. Courageously, fearlessly, relentlessly zap the problems out of your life. See them coming at you from all directions and just vaporize them. Repeat until you have a clear head.
Then put on your inspirational, “no limits” music and think about everything you would like to create in your life. When you find limiting beliefs creeping back into your consciousness, call upon the warrior again, vaporize it and get back to work.
I think you’ll be really surprised at how amazing your list is. Review it. Select your top 3-5 and start working towards your goals. You might find your whole life changes. This process works for me. I have had some of my biggest personal breakthroughs as a result of it, and I am certain I will continue to use it throughout my life. I wanted to teach it to my kids early so they realize that the quality of their life is created by the thoughts they have.
Thoughts are definitely things, and by having the right thoughts, we can create a life of unlimited possibilities! Go on. I dare you to create the life you’ve imagined.
Elphaba, has been ostracized her whole life for her freakishly green color, and has been told she will never amount to anything. But she knows deep in the crevasses of her soul that she is so much more than the limits that have been placed upon her by herself and others. In the climactic song, Defying Gravity, she vows to vanquish the limits on her life so she can fulfill her destiny and unleash her awesome magical powers to manifest good.
I believe we all have awesome magical powers and we can all do the same!
As part of our leadership series this week, the kids and I partook in a guided meditation that turned us into futuristic warriors with light savors. We ceremoniously zapped the problems out of our lives. With a clear head, we were free to discover the possibilities we can create when there are no limits, self imposed or otherwise, to hold us back.
This process was not only fun, but shed some very interesting insight into the minds of my children. Possibilities emerged such as “becoming the 50th president of the United States”, and “starring as Galinda in the Wicked Musical” and filming a movie on top of the Hollywood sign. Big dreams out of little packages, but entirely attainable with a little focus, preparation and practice.
As adults, how often do we metaphorically try to defy gravity? Dr. Wayne Dyer very wisely suggests that it’s never too late, and that we should not leave this planet with our music still in us. But have the pressures of daily life, our own self doubt, fear of failure and extenuating external circumstances caused us to turn the volume down so low on our own music that we can no longer hear it?
The author, Sark, speaks of bodacious succulent living. I love that phrase! Just the silliness of it puts me immediately in a “no limits” state of mind. I think it’s time for all of us to create some bodacious succulence in our lives. I like to start off each year with this Bodacious Succulence session. I have not called it that in the past. I have simply called it my annual “no limits goals session”, but going forward I have decided to adopt Sark’s language.
This process is very fun whether you do it alone or with someone. All you need is a quiet spot, an open mind, some great inspiring music and something to write with. (The theme from Star Wars works great for the first part of this, by the way).
Here’s what you do: Meditate for a few moments (that simply means be quiet and close your eyes). Become completely child-like and transform yourself into that legend in your own mind--your best warrior self, in full color and larger than life. See yourself on the big screen if it helps. Courageously, fearlessly, relentlessly zap the problems out of your life. See them coming at you from all directions and just vaporize them. Repeat until you have a clear head.
Then put on your inspirational, “no limits” music and think about everything you would like to create in your life. When you find limiting beliefs creeping back into your consciousness, call upon the warrior again, vaporize it and get back to work.
I think you’ll be really surprised at how amazing your list is. Review it. Select your top 3-5 and start working towards your goals. You might find your whole life changes. This process works for me. I have had some of my biggest personal breakthroughs as a result of it, and I am certain I will continue to use it throughout my life. I wanted to teach it to my kids early so they realize that the quality of their life is created by the thoughts they have.
Thoughts are definitely things, and by having the right thoughts, we can create a life of unlimited possibilities! Go on. I dare you to create the life you’ve imagined.
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