“This is a really great day, Mom,” my son announced to me as we were driving home from the grocery store with a few odd grocery items we needed for our ‘date night’ project of baking cinnamon rolls. The words were music to my ears. For every great day my son has, there are five bad ones. There is a really great children’s book, Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day by Judith Viorst (Author), Ray Cruz (Illustrator). I am reminded of this book when son is having one of what he calls his ‘worst days’.
Don’t get me wrong. My son has a GREAT LIFE! I have often worried that he just doesn’t have the perspective to realize it. “There are starving children in Africa who would love those (fill in the blank)” is a phrase that escapes my mouth more often than I would like to admit. There are many instances, when I hear my son utter the words, “This has been the worst day of my life” that I pray for God to grant him a little ‘perspective.’ Today, I was blessed enough to discover that his nine year-old mind is getting it.
As I mentioned, we were beginning our date night. It’s a tradition my husband and I began when our kids were two and three, and it has survived our busy chaotic schedules without interruption every Wednesday night since then. It’s a tradition that trumps even the biggest holidays like Christmas and Halloween in our family. We alternate children and let them choose the events of their special evening. It was my night with my son. He was in one of his chatty moods which usually indicates that things are going great.
I asked him why it was such a good day. “Well, I got to garden and cook on Runescape.com, I had a good day in school, my tomato plants finally sprouted, I got more plants to plant in my garden, and we’re going to make cinnamon roles on date night and watch the American Idol finals. It’s just a really great day!” he said.
I love the fact that his ‘perfect day’ involved the simple pleasures of life. When I really think about it, mine are too—breakfast in bed, a long walk in the morning with only my iPod and the dog, yoga, time with the family, an afternoon under an umbrella on a blanket at the beach with a good book, a simple dinner watching the sun set, and sitting by the campfire with my husband drinking a great glass of wine. That’s my perfect day. It’s true that the best things in life are free, and yet it took me 40+ years to discover what my son understands so clearly at nine. (And I thought he was the one who needed perspective).
Then, in a sort of nine year old encore, he said this in response to yet another piece of depressing news resounding from the radio about the state of the economy. “Mom, in some ways I think this bad economy was a gift from God. It’s making people more aware of the things that they do have. Its making them find ways to save money and scale back on stuff that they don’t need. When they have to take care of things themselves, and find simpler ways to do things, that’s good. Sometimes I think God wanted it… No, I know He made it happen that way so that we would all realize what is important. And I think some of the crazy stuff going on with the politicians is making people remember some of the important things about our country and the way our Founding Fathers wanted it to be. I mean, it’s bad because I know some people are really hurting and losing their jobs and stuff. But, if they can just stick it out, they’ll see that this is really a great thing. They’ll be happier when it’s all over.”
This is what he said, almost verbatim. And I was stunned…Stunned at his perception and interpretation of world events. Stunned that he could see such trying times as an opportunity from God. Stunned at his awareness of the gift of change. Stunned that at nine years old he understands that the simple pleasures are the most important things in life. And relieved, that in all his pessimism, he can recognize and appreciate a wonderfully awesome, fabulous, very good day!
Copywright, 2009: Kim Bauer, wife, mother, and writer
www.homeschoolin-mama.blogspot.com
Showing posts with label home school. Show all posts
Showing posts with label home school. Show all posts
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Lives Intersect on the Patio of a Ski Lodge.
I am not particularly fond of crowds, but every once in a while I am up for a good “people watching” experience. I love opportunities to sit as a quiet observer in a crowd of people to catch a glimpse of others lives. Was it merely a coincidence that thousands of strangers paths crossed on a beautiful day in Snow Basin, Utah?”
The word coincidence has dual meaning. In one sense, it describes a striking occurrence of two or more events at one time apparently by mere chance. In another sense, the purely mathematical sense, it describes the perfect intersection of angles. I figured there must be something to learn from this “perfect intersection” of so many lives, so I set up camp and took the opportunity to polish my people watching skills.
The patio of a ski lodge provides a fascinating cross section of life—it’s like looking at the rings of a tree. In Ring 1, the center, are kids 10 and under. I love watching the toddlers barreling down the slopes focused solely on keeping up with mom and dad, and the "tweens" flying over jumps with enviable ease. Mindset: “Just keep skiing.”
The teens, members of Ring 2 were noticeably absent. They made their appearance at the lodge for the obligatory parental check-in before disappearing again to the upper peaks of the mountain as far away from supervision as they could get. Their pimple faced mission was simple…seek “their own kind” and dare each other to accept challenges that make us more experienced types shudder. Mindset: “No fear.” Or maybe it’s “no clue”. I can’t decide.
I was positioned near a very vocal group of young individualists, the members of Ring Three. It was difficult to ignore the fact that twenty something’s have attitudes much larger than their experience. Watching them, I couldn’t help but notice that their gear probably cost more than their monthly rent payments. Designer labels and looking good were the dominant themes as they actively checked each other out. Predominant mindset: “I’m hot.”
Ring 4: A group of “thirty something’s” who had recently traded their expensive “twenty something” gear for more practical, pocket ridden “parental gear” were noticeably outnumbered by their broods. They were lugging more weight in ski gear than they had in children and often required two complimentary wheelbarrows to handle the logistics.
As a recent member of this “ring”, I could really relate. One family in particular held my interest for quite some time. They had four, two year olds and two, four year olds. I couldn’t help wonder if they had their own reality show. Mom and Dad had distinct roles. Dad dragged two kids at a time, up and down the bunny slope. Each time he returned to the base of the chair lift, he passed the twenty something’s. I couldn’t help wonder if thirty something Dad was yearning for his more carefree twenty something days.
Thirty something mom was truly at the end of her rope and had resorted to using her voice as a bull horn, barking out orders to everyone including her husband. She was the designated bathroom matron. In the 60 minutes I sat on the patio she made four trips to the bathroom. During one particularly overwhelming moment, she produced two giant boxes of pretzels and donuts. My first reaction was decidedly judgmental as I thought, “Way to fill em’ up with sugar, Mom.” Thankfully, I regained my good sense and I realized health food was not what the situation called for. She needed a little sugar coated leverage and a strong drink! Dad’s job was more tiring. Mom’s job was more frustrating, and this was clearly and endeavor of unconditional love. Mindset: “Divide and Conquer.” I was in awe!
Moving on to the forty something’s…my crowd. This group was noticeably more relaxed than the 30 something’s, enjoying family time and their new found freedom with children who were almost entirely self-sufficient. They were reaping the rewards of the hard labor of the thirty something years and bracing for trials of the fifty something years. Mindset: “I Can Rest For a Moment.”
In Ring 5 were the fifty something’s, primarily men who seemed to be out for a day of adrenaline induced fun. I caught a few of them popping Advil’s mid-day, masking their pain and holding out for a few more runs. They bonded with other fifty something’s in ways that only adventure seeking men can. And I noticed several groups shaking hands with departing words of “It was nice skiing with you. Hope to see you again sometime”. Mindset: “All by Myself.”
Ring 6--the 60+ crowd. I hesitate to label this group “senior” because they exhibited a display of energy and athleticism that would put many of us to shame. This group overwhelmingly projected a sense of inner peace, gratitude and wisdom and I found myself thinking, this is how I want to be when I am sixty something. They were clearly unhurried, impervious to others opinions, and had no apparent agenda other than to relish and enjoy the experience at their own pace. Mindset: “I’ll Do It My Way.”
This coincidental gathering of thousands on a beautiful day in Utah provided a snapshot of the timeline of life. It reminded me that we are all on our own paths, and we are exactly where we need to be at the moment. There is nothing more to do than take it all in, enjoy it, learn from it, and look forward to the next stage.
The word coincidence has dual meaning. In one sense, it describes a striking occurrence of two or more events at one time apparently by mere chance. In another sense, the purely mathematical sense, it describes the perfect intersection of angles. I figured there must be something to learn from this “perfect intersection” of so many lives, so I set up camp and took the opportunity to polish my people watching skills.
The patio of a ski lodge provides a fascinating cross section of life—it’s like looking at the rings of a tree. In Ring 1, the center, are kids 10 and under. I love watching the toddlers barreling down the slopes focused solely on keeping up with mom and dad, and the "tweens" flying over jumps with enviable ease. Mindset: “Just keep skiing.”
The teens, members of Ring 2 were noticeably absent. They made their appearance at the lodge for the obligatory parental check-in before disappearing again to the upper peaks of the mountain as far away from supervision as they could get. Their pimple faced mission was simple…seek “their own kind” and dare each other to accept challenges that make us more experienced types shudder. Mindset: “No fear.” Or maybe it’s “no clue”. I can’t decide.
I was positioned near a very vocal group of young individualists, the members of Ring Three. It was difficult to ignore the fact that twenty something’s have attitudes much larger than their experience. Watching them, I couldn’t help but notice that their gear probably cost more than their monthly rent payments. Designer labels and looking good were the dominant themes as they actively checked each other out. Predominant mindset: “I’m hot.”
Ring 4: A group of “thirty something’s” who had recently traded their expensive “twenty something” gear for more practical, pocket ridden “parental gear” were noticeably outnumbered by their broods. They were lugging more weight in ski gear than they had in children and often required two complimentary wheelbarrows to handle the logistics.
As a recent member of this “ring”, I could really relate. One family in particular held my interest for quite some time. They had four, two year olds and two, four year olds. I couldn’t help wonder if they had their own reality show. Mom and Dad had distinct roles. Dad dragged two kids at a time, up and down the bunny slope. Each time he returned to the base of the chair lift, he passed the twenty something’s. I couldn’t help wonder if thirty something Dad was yearning for his more carefree twenty something days.
Thirty something mom was truly at the end of her rope and had resorted to using her voice as a bull horn, barking out orders to everyone including her husband. She was the designated bathroom matron. In the 60 minutes I sat on the patio she made four trips to the bathroom. During one particularly overwhelming moment, she produced two giant boxes of pretzels and donuts. My first reaction was decidedly judgmental as I thought, “Way to fill em’ up with sugar, Mom.” Thankfully, I regained my good sense and I realized health food was not what the situation called for. She needed a little sugar coated leverage and a strong drink! Dad’s job was more tiring. Mom’s job was more frustrating, and this was clearly and endeavor of unconditional love. Mindset: “Divide and Conquer.” I was in awe!
Moving on to the forty something’s…my crowd. This group was noticeably more relaxed than the 30 something’s, enjoying family time and their new found freedom with children who were almost entirely self-sufficient. They were reaping the rewards of the hard labor of the thirty something years and bracing for trials of the fifty something years. Mindset: “I Can Rest For a Moment.”
In Ring 5 were the fifty something’s, primarily men who seemed to be out for a day of adrenaline induced fun. I caught a few of them popping Advil’s mid-day, masking their pain and holding out for a few more runs. They bonded with other fifty something’s in ways that only adventure seeking men can. And I noticed several groups shaking hands with departing words of “It was nice skiing with you. Hope to see you again sometime”. Mindset: “All by Myself.”
Ring 6--the 60+ crowd. I hesitate to label this group “senior” because they exhibited a display of energy and athleticism that would put many of us to shame. This group overwhelmingly projected a sense of inner peace, gratitude and wisdom and I found myself thinking, this is how I want to be when I am sixty something. They were clearly unhurried, impervious to others opinions, and had no apparent agenda other than to relish and enjoy the experience at their own pace. Mindset: “I’ll Do It My Way.”
This coincidental gathering of thousands on a beautiful day in Utah provided a snapshot of the timeline of life. It reminded me that we are all on our own paths, and we are exactly where we need to be at the moment. There is nothing more to do than take it all in, enjoy it, learn from it, and look forward to the next stage.
Friday, March 6, 2009
The 7th Thing I Love About Home School—School is Where You Take it and Make It!
“Do you mind if I get dressed real quick and just go check on the kids to make sure they are not killing each other?” I said to the mammography technician as she released my right breast and told me to get the left one ready. “You see, we’re homeschooled, so I brought them with me and left them by themselves in the lobby. I just want to check on them.”
“Excuse me? She remarked. I guessed this probably wasn’t a common question in her world. But boob smashing wasn’t common in my world either so I considered things “even Steven.” I suppose the pleading look in my eyes (which might have been the result of severe pain after having my breast smashed to ¼” pancake between two cold plates), told her not to deny my request. She reluctantly conceded. I grabbed my clothes and bolted.
20 minutes earlier, I left my children in the lobby with a backpack full of school work and strict instructions to complete 3 math pages, 2 grammar pages, 1 vocabulary lesson, 1 American History lesson, 3 chapters in science, free reading and foreign language by time I returned. I figured if I piled on enough in the expectations department, they were less likely to get into trouble. This elicited some interesting looks from patrons in the lobby. “Oh, and try not to kill each other, either.” With that, I turned on my heels and proceeded to my exam room. I smiled at the condescending old lady sitting who was disapprovingly watching this scene unfold and remarked, “Don’t worry, they probably won’t hurt each other too badly,” as I passed her.
For those of you who are concerned about child abandonment, I assure you that before I began “setting expectations” for the school day, I introduced them to all the ladies behind the desk and made sure the environment was safe. And, what I found when I reentered the lobby to check on them warmed my heart. They were helping each other with math and eating apples. No, they hadn’t completed even 1/3 of the work on my list, but I was satisfied that all was good. I kissed them proudly and proceeded back to the “torture chamber”. Disapproving old lady was more at ease at this point.
With one annual procedure crossed off the “to do list”, we headed down to the corner of Ocean and Broadway near the Santa Monica Pier and enjoyed a lovely lunch that I will remember for years to come. We had the best corner window table with an ocean view all to ourselves! We had missed the business lunch crowd and were pretty much alone. I quizzed them on what they had learned that morning, we talked about the animals we learned about on our field trip to San Diego Sea World the day before, and it struck me, this is my 7th favorite thing about home schooling!
I reflected on the past week and realized our bean bags were cold and lonely. We hadn’t been in them for 5 school days. Our “extenuating circumstances” had included a field trip to Sea World, taping of a podcast at my daughter’s ballet studio, a school performance, extra coaching in preparation for a dance competition, and a boring doctor’s appointment that was turned into a really memorable experience for all of us. Our books and our bodies had been in the car all week and the amazing thing is that we hadn’t skipped a beat. We were a little light on the core subjects, but we had made up for it with all the enrichment activities and time spent together enjoying each other’s company.
It really opened my mind to the fact that school doesn’t have to be contained within four walls. In fact, I am beginning to believe that within 3-5 years, a significant percentage of education will be delivered this way. It just makes sense with the high cost associated with providing an education for children and budget cuts that most states continue to face. Most top universities including Harvard, Stanford and MIT offer online programs and some even have programs for gifted children at the elementary and high school levels.
It’s a brilliant move on the part of the universities to “hook” their future patrons at an early age, and I think it demonstrates how powerful the option of learning beyond the class room really is—school truly is where you take it and make it!
“Excuse me? She remarked. I guessed this probably wasn’t a common question in her world. But boob smashing wasn’t common in my world either so I considered things “even Steven.” I suppose the pleading look in my eyes (which might have been the result of severe pain after having my breast smashed to ¼” pancake between two cold plates), told her not to deny my request. She reluctantly conceded. I grabbed my clothes and bolted.
20 minutes earlier, I left my children in the lobby with a backpack full of school work and strict instructions to complete 3 math pages, 2 grammar pages, 1 vocabulary lesson, 1 American History lesson, 3 chapters in science, free reading and foreign language by time I returned. I figured if I piled on enough in the expectations department, they were less likely to get into trouble. This elicited some interesting looks from patrons in the lobby. “Oh, and try not to kill each other, either.” With that, I turned on my heels and proceeded to my exam room. I smiled at the condescending old lady sitting who was disapprovingly watching this scene unfold and remarked, “Don’t worry, they probably won’t hurt each other too badly,” as I passed her.
For those of you who are concerned about child abandonment, I assure you that before I began “setting expectations” for the school day, I introduced them to all the ladies behind the desk and made sure the environment was safe. And, what I found when I reentered the lobby to check on them warmed my heart. They were helping each other with math and eating apples. No, they hadn’t completed even 1/3 of the work on my list, but I was satisfied that all was good. I kissed them proudly and proceeded back to the “torture chamber”. Disapproving old lady was more at ease at this point.
With one annual procedure crossed off the “to do list”, we headed down to the corner of Ocean and Broadway near the Santa Monica Pier and enjoyed a lovely lunch that I will remember for years to come. We had the best corner window table with an ocean view all to ourselves! We had missed the business lunch crowd and were pretty much alone. I quizzed them on what they had learned that morning, we talked about the animals we learned about on our field trip to San Diego Sea World the day before, and it struck me, this is my 7th favorite thing about home schooling!
I reflected on the past week and realized our bean bags were cold and lonely. We hadn’t been in them for 5 school days. Our “extenuating circumstances” had included a field trip to Sea World, taping of a podcast at my daughter’s ballet studio, a school performance, extra coaching in preparation for a dance competition, and a boring doctor’s appointment that was turned into a really memorable experience for all of us. Our books and our bodies had been in the car all week and the amazing thing is that we hadn’t skipped a beat. We were a little light on the core subjects, but we had made up for it with all the enrichment activities and time spent together enjoying each other’s company.
It really opened my mind to the fact that school doesn’t have to be contained within four walls. In fact, I am beginning to believe that within 3-5 years, a significant percentage of education will be delivered this way. It just makes sense with the high cost associated with providing an education for children and budget cuts that most states continue to face. Most top universities including Harvard, Stanford and MIT offer online programs and some even have programs for gifted children at the elementary and high school levels.
It’s a brilliant move on the part of the universities to “hook” their future patrons at an early age, and I think it demonstrates how powerful the option of learning beyond the class room really is—school truly is where you take it and make it!
Friday, February 27, 2009
The Sixth Thing I Love About Home School--Even the Teacher Gets a Final Exam.
Some of you who are following my blog might know that I am developing a leadership program for children. My laboratory is our home school and my children are the lab rats. This week we finished our “first unit” of study in Leadership. Even though I regularly test “my rats” to measure their progress, I decided that a “final exam” was unnecessary since leadership skills are best developed and tested in real life.
But, today I was presented with a “final exam” of my own when I encountered a situation that challenged me to “practice what I preach.” The situation was a direct result of my entre’ into the dangerous and scary world of “political blogging”. I don’t go there very often since my focus right now is decidedly “spiritual and documentary”. But the contents of Obama’s first congressional address left me feeling compelled to comment. Upon completing my final spell check, I broadcast my “polito-blog” into the cyber universe in a big way—to 45,000 unsuspecting members of cafemom.com.
I quickly discovered that “political blogging” attracts a variety of moms, desirable and not so. I don’t expect everyone to agree with me. In fact, I suspected that I might be in the minority on the topic I selected. I learned that the internet can have the same effect on people as drinking too many margaritas at Marti Gras. Folks lose their inhibitions, their manners and their sense of decency. One response really sent me into a funk, and I harbored negativity for a full hour before I regained control of my emotions.
To clear my head, I took my morning walk and it suddenly it hit me—I had it all wrong! This virtual stranger who had so voraciously attacked me was in fact, just testing me. My “final exam” was neatly packaged in her five paragraph response, and it was up to me to step up and take it. This test forced me to utilize and master each of the five topics we have studied to date:
Lesson 1: When You Rule Your Mind, You Rule Your World!
“How can I craft my verbal retaliation?” was the first question that popped into my head. Since we create our reality with our focus, the questions we ask ourselves are critical. Mine was leading me quickly down the wrong path. To ameliorate my thinking, I crafted a better question. “How can this help me?” This answer put me in a position of power instead of a place of negativity and anger.
Lesson 2: Without Vision, the People Perish.
No amount of words on a page would change her point of view. I needed to remain focused on my own long term vision to find the appropriate response to the situation. Verbal sparring wasn’t the answer. But searching for meaning was. It didn’t take long to find it.
Lesson 3: Love Can Endure the Fault We Cannot Cure.
My natural response was to put on the gloves and come out fighting. I think this is often what we do when we find ourselves on opposite sides of an issue. But when I thought of Lesson 3, it was simple. I couldn’t cure her faults and she couldn’t cure mine. The best resolution we could hope for was to agree to disagree. I put myself into a state of “unconditional love” and crafted a simple, gracious response.
Lesson 4: There are More Possibilities in the Universe than One Can Possibly Imagine.
This became crystal clear as I read her answer. I hadn’t imagined a point of view such as hers, (but I stoop to sarcasm). The real lesson for me was that it is essential to explore the possibilities before responding if you want to create a positive outcome. We always have more than one choice, even when we think we don’t. When dealing with a challenging situation, we must call upon all our internal and external resources to create many options so we can produce positive outcomes and improve our lives.
Lesson 5: As You Give, So Shall You Receive.
My opponent’s opinion was 100% different than mine but that wasn’t the issue. Instead of presenting her point of view in a positive manner, she opted to respond with personal insults and bad language. She intentionally chose her response, and it was incumbent upon me to choose mine. My initial inclination was to unleash upon her with equal vengeance. As you give, so shall you receive. But thankfully, my higher self suggested I think about it and respond with love. I don’t know how it was received on her end. I am guessing it neutralized the situation. Regardless, I know that I did my part to break the cycle of negativity.
In 5 or 10 years, it will be interesting to observe what my children retain from this leadership encounter. As a teacher, I was extremely grateful to have a test of my own. I just hope I passed!
But, today I was presented with a “final exam” of my own when I encountered a situation that challenged me to “practice what I preach.” The situation was a direct result of my entre’ into the dangerous and scary world of “political blogging”. I don’t go there very often since my focus right now is decidedly “spiritual and documentary”. But the contents of Obama’s first congressional address left me feeling compelled to comment. Upon completing my final spell check, I broadcast my “polito-blog” into the cyber universe in a big way—to 45,000 unsuspecting members of cafemom.com.
I quickly discovered that “political blogging” attracts a variety of moms, desirable and not so. I don’t expect everyone to agree with me. In fact, I suspected that I might be in the minority on the topic I selected. I learned that the internet can have the same effect on people as drinking too many margaritas at Marti Gras. Folks lose their inhibitions, their manners and their sense of decency. One response really sent me into a funk, and I harbored negativity for a full hour before I regained control of my emotions.
To clear my head, I took my morning walk and it suddenly it hit me—I had it all wrong! This virtual stranger who had so voraciously attacked me was in fact, just testing me. My “final exam” was neatly packaged in her five paragraph response, and it was up to me to step up and take it. This test forced me to utilize and master each of the five topics we have studied to date:
Lesson 1: When You Rule Your Mind, You Rule Your World!
“How can I craft my verbal retaliation?” was the first question that popped into my head. Since we create our reality with our focus, the questions we ask ourselves are critical. Mine was leading me quickly down the wrong path. To ameliorate my thinking, I crafted a better question. “How can this help me?” This answer put me in a position of power instead of a place of negativity and anger.
Lesson 2: Without Vision, the People Perish.
No amount of words on a page would change her point of view. I needed to remain focused on my own long term vision to find the appropriate response to the situation. Verbal sparring wasn’t the answer. But searching for meaning was. It didn’t take long to find it.
Lesson 3: Love Can Endure the Fault We Cannot Cure.
My natural response was to put on the gloves and come out fighting. I think this is often what we do when we find ourselves on opposite sides of an issue. But when I thought of Lesson 3, it was simple. I couldn’t cure her faults and she couldn’t cure mine. The best resolution we could hope for was to agree to disagree. I put myself into a state of “unconditional love” and crafted a simple, gracious response.
Lesson 4: There are More Possibilities in the Universe than One Can Possibly Imagine.
This became crystal clear as I read her answer. I hadn’t imagined a point of view such as hers, (but I stoop to sarcasm). The real lesson for me was that it is essential to explore the possibilities before responding if you want to create a positive outcome. We always have more than one choice, even when we think we don’t. When dealing with a challenging situation, we must call upon all our internal and external resources to create many options so we can produce positive outcomes and improve our lives.
Lesson 5: As You Give, So Shall You Receive.
My opponent’s opinion was 100% different than mine but that wasn’t the issue. Instead of presenting her point of view in a positive manner, she opted to respond with personal insults and bad language. She intentionally chose her response, and it was incumbent upon me to choose mine. My initial inclination was to unleash upon her with equal vengeance. As you give, so shall you receive. But thankfully, my higher self suggested I think about it and respond with love. I don’t know how it was received on her end. I am guessing it neutralized the situation. Regardless, I know that I did my part to break the cycle of negativity.
In 5 or 10 years, it will be interesting to observe what my children retain from this leadership encounter. As a teacher, I was extremely grateful to have a test of my own. I just hope I passed!
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
(Still on Giving)… Lord Send me a Sign that I am making some progress!
My kids and I are wrapping up Unit 1 in our Leadership program although I am going to spend one more week on “giving”. This is mostly for my own benefit because I think it is such an important concept and I believe I have a lot to learn in this area.
Over the last six weeks we’ve covered a variety of topics including “what you focus on you get”, “unlimited possibilities” and the importance of “vision and purpose”. We’ve studied the role “unconditional love” plays in our lives, the concept of “unlimited possibilities” and why “the secret to living is giving”. Mother Teresa embodies the qualities we have studied, so naturally, our leadership report for this unit centered on her life, her philosophies, her challenges and accomplishments and how we be more like her in our own lives. My children each wrote a beautiful tribute to Mother Teresa as the “final exam” for this unit. Reading each essay in its final form was very rewarding!
The humbling thing about home schooling is how much I am learning because of my kids. I am now fascinated with Mother Teresa, especially with regard to her selfless giving and her relentless commitment to her guiding principles. Her mission was to help one person at a time and in helping, she sought a personal connection with the abandoned and hopeless. When she sensed the connection was missing, she considered herself “off course”. Mother Teresa’s giving well never ran dry. Her internal resources remained in an eternal state of abundance, and that abundance allowed her to remain “on purpose”.
As I mentioned in a prior blog, the concept of giving is surprisingly challenging to teach to children. I am finding the “KISS” principle (keep it simple sweetie) to be most effective. Coincidently, as I was cleaning a closet this week, I ran across a book that I hadn’t read since my kids were little—“The Giving Tree” by Shel Silverstein. I imagine most parents have read this book, but if you haven’t, I highly recommend it. It is a timeless and ageless story of selfless giving.
It’s the story of a boy and his favorite tree—The Giving Tree. He has a relationship with the tree through his entire life and depends on it for comfort and solitude. As the boy matures from toddler, to young man, to middle age and then his golden years, The Giving Tree always has something to give to the boy. The moral of the story is that no matter what how exhausted, tired or “spent” we are we always have something to give to others.
This “grand leadership experiment” of mine has been fascinating so far! And it’s only just begun. My education specialist asked me if I think it’s working. I am hopeful that it is, although I am well aware of the fact that you can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make it drink. My kids have been mostly receptive to my cause. Their emotions have ranged from extremely bored to wildly inspired (and a lot of in between). So, is it working, you ask? Evidence is mounting that it is. I say this as my children are yelling insults to each other while making cookies. I am choosing to believe that this temporary setback is due to the amount of sugar they are ingesting at the moment.
But, overall, the seeds that have been planted through 30+ hours or so of training are starting to sprout. I see it in their interaction with each other and towards my husband and me. We are definitely closer. I catch sound bites of conversations they are having with each other that include “little tidbits” from our lessons. I get continual requests for “calming meditations” and “visualizations” before we go to sleep. While these seem to be positive indications, a simple sign from God would be beneficial to my ego!
I believe children are very close to God, and while they may not “get” everything we discuss on a purely intellectual level, they get it spiritually. My delusion is that because of this time we are spending, they will understand the power of choice and how their thoughts and decisions affect the quality of their lives. Ultimately, they will incorporate these tools to create a spectacular life!
Over the last six weeks we’ve covered a variety of topics including “what you focus on you get”, “unlimited possibilities” and the importance of “vision and purpose”. We’ve studied the role “unconditional love” plays in our lives, the concept of “unlimited possibilities” and why “the secret to living is giving”. Mother Teresa embodies the qualities we have studied, so naturally, our leadership report for this unit centered on her life, her philosophies, her challenges and accomplishments and how we be more like her in our own lives. My children each wrote a beautiful tribute to Mother Teresa as the “final exam” for this unit. Reading each essay in its final form was very rewarding!
The humbling thing about home schooling is how much I am learning because of my kids. I am now fascinated with Mother Teresa, especially with regard to her selfless giving and her relentless commitment to her guiding principles. Her mission was to help one person at a time and in helping, she sought a personal connection with the abandoned and hopeless. When she sensed the connection was missing, she considered herself “off course”. Mother Teresa’s giving well never ran dry. Her internal resources remained in an eternal state of abundance, and that abundance allowed her to remain “on purpose”.
As I mentioned in a prior blog, the concept of giving is surprisingly challenging to teach to children. I am finding the “KISS” principle (keep it simple sweetie) to be most effective. Coincidently, as I was cleaning a closet this week, I ran across a book that I hadn’t read since my kids were little—“The Giving Tree” by Shel Silverstein. I imagine most parents have read this book, but if you haven’t, I highly recommend it. It is a timeless and ageless story of selfless giving.
It’s the story of a boy and his favorite tree—The Giving Tree. He has a relationship with the tree through his entire life and depends on it for comfort and solitude. As the boy matures from toddler, to young man, to middle age and then his golden years, The Giving Tree always has something to give to the boy. The moral of the story is that no matter what how exhausted, tired or “spent” we are we always have something to give to others.
This “grand leadership experiment” of mine has been fascinating so far! And it’s only just begun. My education specialist asked me if I think it’s working. I am hopeful that it is, although I am well aware of the fact that you can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make it drink. My kids have been mostly receptive to my cause. Their emotions have ranged from extremely bored to wildly inspired (and a lot of in between). So, is it working, you ask? Evidence is mounting that it is. I say this as my children are yelling insults to each other while making cookies. I am choosing to believe that this temporary setback is due to the amount of sugar they are ingesting at the moment.
But, overall, the seeds that have been planted through 30+ hours or so of training are starting to sprout. I see it in their interaction with each other and towards my husband and me. We are definitely closer. I catch sound bites of conversations they are having with each other that include “little tidbits” from our lessons. I get continual requests for “calming meditations” and “visualizations” before we go to sleep. While these seem to be positive indications, a simple sign from God would be beneficial to my ego!
I believe children are very close to God, and while they may not “get” everything we discuss on a purely intellectual level, they get it spiritually. My delusion is that because of this time we are spending, they will understand the power of choice and how their thoughts and decisions affect the quality of their lives. Ultimately, they will incorporate these tools to create a spectacular life!
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
The Sweet Sounds of Silence! Why we all need to turn down the volume in our lives.
Silence…the complete absence of sound or noise. Stillness in all its glory! Often, it is silence that allows our mind to open to new possibilities and discoveries. Silence is an important part of life and is a critically important component of home school. Because we spend so much time together, silence can be much welcomed, needed and easily tolerated. There is no such thing as uncomfortable silence in our home and I often wish I had my own personal “cone of silence” like Maxwell Smart on the old Get Smart series.
My family is winding down from a prolonged period of noise of the most intolerable kind. You see, recently, gigantic yellow earth-moving equipment stormed our property (per direction of the hubby). For the last 10 days, these big yellow beasts have been droning along mercilessly from sunrise to sunset as we re-grade our yard. My husband seems to be immune to this noise. He grew up in a loud family. That’s for another blog.
The outcome of this noise might (I emphasize might) be worth it, for in the end, we’ll have slightly more usable yard space. In the meantime, the noise is taking a toll on us. Couple the relentless noise with the occasional outburst of sibling rivalry, the continual background music meant to drown out the noise, piano practice, the drone of the television, and PMS and it’s a recipe for mom to have a mini meltdown or two.
But it has made me think about my own childhood and the multitude of embarrassing “silence inducing techniques” conceived of by my very own, forward thinking mother. I now realize that what she was really doing was coveting and promoting opportunities for silence. She was protecting us from the noise of the outside world. Her “silence based rules” were totally unappreciated by us kids. Now that I am an adult, I realize the simple brilliance behind them, and I think it’s too bad there aren’t more silence focused moms like her.
Let me tell you about Linda…
Linda was ahead of her time in many ways. She reduced, reused and recycled. She conserved and composted before it was cool to be “green”. She fed us whole wheat flour, made us grow and eat our own veggies, and forced us to try a little of everything on our plates even though we protested dramatically. Chores were mandatory and she often “white glove tested” us.
We ate three meals as a family per day, and we all had to sit quietly at the table and hold polite conversation through the entire meal. Meal times were not to be interrupted by the “noise” of outsiders. To insure silence, she made signs that said “come back later, we are eating”. We had the embarrassing task of hanging these on the door to ward off unwanted visitors (i.e. neighborhood kids) while we were eating. The same practice applied during our afternoon nap appropriately named our “quiet rest”. Each day at 4:30, we begrudgingly hung out a sign that said “come back later we are resting”. Our “quiet rest” was a period of 30-45 minutes in which my siblings and I were banished to our rooms to engage in silent activities. Oh, how she must have relished that time. Secretly, I did too!
I think my mom, in her own way, was insisting that we “turn down the noise” in all areas of our lives so we could spend some quiet time and family time completely free of distractions to think, ponder, explore, and assimilate the vast potential of our minds, or to simply enjoy each other’s company without constant interruptions. She remained unwavering in her commitment to this practice throughout my childhood. I am trying to assimilate this into our home school routine with moderate success. The practice is phenomenal. My discipline is lacking. The bottom line is that we need silence to explore our potential and grow as human beings.
So go ahead, grab the remote and turn down the volume on your life!
My family is winding down from a prolonged period of noise of the most intolerable kind. You see, recently, gigantic yellow earth-moving equipment stormed our property (per direction of the hubby). For the last 10 days, these big yellow beasts have been droning along mercilessly from sunrise to sunset as we re-grade our yard. My husband seems to be immune to this noise. He grew up in a loud family. That’s for another blog.
The outcome of this noise might (I emphasize might) be worth it, for in the end, we’ll have slightly more usable yard space. In the meantime, the noise is taking a toll on us. Couple the relentless noise with the occasional outburst of sibling rivalry, the continual background music meant to drown out the noise, piano practice, the drone of the television, and PMS and it’s a recipe for mom to have a mini meltdown or two.
But it has made me think about my own childhood and the multitude of embarrassing “silence inducing techniques” conceived of by my very own, forward thinking mother. I now realize that what she was really doing was coveting and promoting opportunities for silence. She was protecting us from the noise of the outside world. Her “silence based rules” were totally unappreciated by us kids. Now that I am an adult, I realize the simple brilliance behind them, and I think it’s too bad there aren’t more silence focused moms like her.
Let me tell you about Linda…
Linda was ahead of her time in many ways. She reduced, reused and recycled. She conserved and composted before it was cool to be “green”. She fed us whole wheat flour, made us grow and eat our own veggies, and forced us to try a little of everything on our plates even though we protested dramatically. Chores were mandatory and she often “white glove tested” us.
We ate three meals as a family per day, and we all had to sit quietly at the table and hold polite conversation through the entire meal. Meal times were not to be interrupted by the “noise” of outsiders. To insure silence, she made signs that said “come back later, we are eating”. We had the embarrassing task of hanging these on the door to ward off unwanted visitors (i.e. neighborhood kids) while we were eating. The same practice applied during our afternoon nap appropriately named our “quiet rest”. Each day at 4:30, we begrudgingly hung out a sign that said “come back later we are resting”. Our “quiet rest” was a period of 30-45 minutes in which my siblings and I were banished to our rooms to engage in silent activities. Oh, how she must have relished that time. Secretly, I did too!
I think my mom, in her own way, was insisting that we “turn down the noise” in all areas of our lives so we could spend some quiet time and family time completely free of distractions to think, ponder, explore, and assimilate the vast potential of our minds, or to simply enjoy each other’s company without constant interruptions. She remained unwavering in her commitment to this practice throughout my childhood. I am trying to assimilate this into our home school routine with moderate success. The practice is phenomenal. My discipline is lacking. The bottom line is that we need silence to explore our potential and grow as human beings.
So go ahead, grab the remote and turn down the volume on your life!
Friday, January 9, 2009
The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly.
My home school bubble has burst! Well, that might be an overstatement of sorts. But I knew it wouldn’t last. Today, I gained some insight as to what will work for us and what won’t in the Eder Family Home School.
It all started with my hair—my gosh darned blasted hair. I just wanted to wash it and blowdry it. No, let me restate that, I wanted to style it. I’ll admit it. I wanted to take my time and actually make it look “hot”. I wanted to put on makeup as if I was actually going out to face my old life working outside the home. I didn’t’ think it was too much to ask. I only devote a total of 1-2 hours a week for my hair, much less, I think than most women. But it is an hour or two I treasure immensely. For at least 2-3 days leading up to the event, I anticipate the hot steam of the shower and the deafening roar of the blow dryer that conveniently drowns out the background noise of children, husband, phone calls and contractors at the door. (Did I mention my husband is a serial fixer-upper? That’s another blog).
What happened next is my own fault. I know that. Shame on me for selfishly desiring those 60 minutes to myself. Shame on me for scheduling it at the beginning of the day. Shame on me if I told a little white lie to make it happen. And the rest of the day was about karmic payback and I knew it.
At breakfast, I cheerfully explained to the kids “that the day was going to be structured a little differently to provide some extra excitement and a little variety”. (It doesn’t really count as a white lie if I am providing some fun, I rationalized). “We’re going to begin by watching the Mother Theresa movie up in my room as research for our leadership reports.” I explained, “And by the way, I’ll just be in my bathroom drying my hair”. Cheers and applause erupted around our breakfast table. Just when you set a plan in action, God will throw you a few curveballs. The Mother Theresa video was nowhere to be found. 15 minutes spent running around the house looking for it put us 15 minutes behind on “our schedule”.
No worries. I have very important titles on my resume from my past life like Principal, CEO, Creative Director and VP, and I am now a resourceful homeschoolin’mama. I can fix this. “Kids, go get your laptops, you can curl up in my bed and conduct internet research on Mother Theresa”, I continued. Small groans, but the plan was accepted by the troops. I smiled and disappeared to the shower.
15 incredible, hot, lathery, steamy moments later I emerged a new woman. I was quickly aroused from my zen-like trance by the piercing screams of my 9 year old son when there is a technology failure at our house. “The internet is down!” he wailed. 20 more minutes spent running around the house checking all the routers and internet connections put us another yet another 20 minutes behind. “ Did we pay the bill?” I pondered. I was cold and my hair was starting to frizz. Again, resourceful homeschoolin’ mama solved the problem. “Find the connectors and hardwire yourself into the Ethernet.” I ordered.
Peace and tranquility slowly returned and the kids resumed their positions on my unmade bed. (Note to self; still gotta get to that. I subconsciously tacked another 5 minute delay onto the schedule). I searched the house for a spray bottle to get my hair back into a “primed for styling” state. 30 minutes behind plus the 20 minutes we lost before plus another 5 for bed making. “Did I clean the kitchen yet, I wondered. “ What would that cost me?” Wow. We were really off track. Mild panic set in. I didn’t want to fail on day 4. I needed to at least get through a week to pass the unspoken, new home school family “initiation” period. You are not really part of the club unless you have made it through a full week.
I refocused on my primary task. “Just get the hair dry, Kim.” I settled. Styling was becoming less important with each minute that got added to our day, and makeup? “I look okay without make up don’t I?” I rationalized. 45 minutes later, I retired the blow dryer, put on my clothing (workout wear , of course, so I could try to sneak in some yoga). I went to check on the kids, expecting pages teeming with inspiring snippet’s on Mother Theresa. Instead, I found Frankie working on his Fibonacci spreadsheet in Excel, and Austin was creating her Fibonacci report in Power Point. Not really what I envisioned, but still part of the program, so in one, deep yoga breathe, I let it go.
You can guess how the rest of the day went. The schedule was off—way off. I lost the respect of my proteges and command of the classroom. They suddenly thought they were in charge. They had to be, right? When you can’t respect your leader, you have to take charge. That’s what my irrational brain told me was happening at least. But somehow, we made it through. And at the end of the day we checked everything off our list that we needed to complete. And I knew in my heart that they had still learned more in one day than they had learned in 2-3 days of school. And they got all that from their mama. I was pretty proud!
Going forward, we will not deviate!
We WILL follow the schedule. It WILL start with leadership (which is my chance to get in 30 -40 minutes of yoga while we all listen to someone wiser than me say something very intelligent via audiotape). There WILL be a shower, makeup, deodorant and clean underwear before I even think about coming down for the day so I can be a “home schoolin' hottie”, not just a “homeschoolin' mama. And, if my hair needs a “style”, I will do it late the night before, put on my makeup and sleep in it.
And going forward…all will be good!
It all started with my hair—my gosh darned blasted hair. I just wanted to wash it and blowdry it. No, let me restate that, I wanted to style it. I’ll admit it. I wanted to take my time and actually make it look “hot”. I wanted to put on makeup as if I was actually going out to face my old life working outside the home. I didn’t’ think it was too much to ask. I only devote a total of 1-2 hours a week for my hair, much less, I think than most women. But it is an hour or two I treasure immensely. For at least 2-3 days leading up to the event, I anticipate the hot steam of the shower and the deafening roar of the blow dryer that conveniently drowns out the background noise of children, husband, phone calls and contractors at the door. (Did I mention my husband is a serial fixer-upper? That’s another blog).
What happened next is my own fault. I know that. Shame on me for selfishly desiring those 60 minutes to myself. Shame on me for scheduling it at the beginning of the day. Shame on me if I told a little white lie to make it happen. And the rest of the day was about karmic payback and I knew it.
At breakfast, I cheerfully explained to the kids “that the day was going to be structured a little differently to provide some extra excitement and a little variety”. (It doesn’t really count as a white lie if I am providing some fun, I rationalized). “We’re going to begin by watching the Mother Theresa movie up in my room as research for our leadership reports.” I explained, “And by the way, I’ll just be in my bathroom drying my hair”. Cheers and applause erupted around our breakfast table. Just when you set a plan in action, God will throw you a few curveballs. The Mother Theresa video was nowhere to be found. 15 minutes spent running around the house looking for it put us 15 minutes behind on “our schedule”.
No worries. I have very important titles on my resume from my past life like Principal, CEO, Creative Director and VP, and I am now a resourceful homeschoolin’mama. I can fix this. “Kids, go get your laptops, you can curl up in my bed and conduct internet research on Mother Theresa”, I continued. Small groans, but the plan was accepted by the troops. I smiled and disappeared to the shower.
15 incredible, hot, lathery, steamy moments later I emerged a new woman. I was quickly aroused from my zen-like trance by the piercing screams of my 9 year old son when there is a technology failure at our house. “The internet is down!” he wailed. 20 more minutes spent running around the house checking all the routers and internet connections put us another yet another 20 minutes behind. “ Did we pay the bill?” I pondered. I was cold and my hair was starting to frizz. Again, resourceful homeschoolin’ mama solved the problem. “Find the connectors and hardwire yourself into the Ethernet.” I ordered.
Peace and tranquility slowly returned and the kids resumed their positions on my unmade bed. (Note to self; still gotta get to that. I subconsciously tacked another 5 minute delay onto the schedule). I searched the house for a spray bottle to get my hair back into a “primed for styling” state. 30 minutes behind plus the 20 minutes we lost before plus another 5 for bed making. “Did I clean the kitchen yet, I wondered. “ What would that cost me?” Wow. We were really off track. Mild panic set in. I didn’t want to fail on day 4. I needed to at least get through a week to pass the unspoken, new home school family “initiation” period. You are not really part of the club unless you have made it through a full week.
I refocused on my primary task. “Just get the hair dry, Kim.” I settled. Styling was becoming less important with each minute that got added to our day, and makeup? “I look okay without make up don’t I?” I rationalized. 45 minutes later, I retired the blow dryer, put on my clothing (workout wear , of course, so I could try to sneak in some yoga). I went to check on the kids, expecting pages teeming with inspiring snippet’s on Mother Theresa. Instead, I found Frankie working on his Fibonacci spreadsheet in Excel, and Austin was creating her Fibonacci report in Power Point. Not really what I envisioned, but still part of the program, so in one, deep yoga breathe, I let it go.
You can guess how the rest of the day went. The schedule was off—way off. I lost the respect of my proteges and command of the classroom. They suddenly thought they were in charge. They had to be, right? When you can’t respect your leader, you have to take charge. That’s what my irrational brain told me was happening at least. But somehow, we made it through. And at the end of the day we checked everything off our list that we needed to complete. And I knew in my heart that they had still learned more in one day than they had learned in 2-3 days of school. And they got all that from their mama. I was pretty proud!
Going forward, we will not deviate!
We WILL follow the schedule. It WILL start with leadership (which is my chance to get in 30 -40 minutes of yoga while we all listen to someone wiser than me say something very intelligent via audiotape). There WILL be a shower, makeup, deodorant and clean underwear before I even think about coming down for the day so I can be a “home schoolin' hottie”, not just a “homeschoolin' mama. And, if my hair needs a “style”, I will do it late the night before, put on my makeup and sleep in it.
And going forward…all will be good!
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
January 5: Day One
To kick off our home school adventure, I developed a six to eight week project that we are undertaking on the Fibonacci Sequence. Our research will encompass all areas of our curriculum including math, science, history, writing, art, music, logic and reasoning, and computers. Wow! We launched the project today and began to learn the concept behind the numbers. Keep in mind that when and if this is taught in regular schools, it is a high school or college level concept. But I just knew my kids would get it.
Austin was getting very frustrated with the Fibonacci concept partially because Frankie was nailing it. This kind of thing is just completely intuitive for him. It's deep in his DNA. But the real problem was that I wasn't explaining it right because it was the first time I was teaching it (and truth be told, I don't fully understand it myself). She was getting frustrated and shifted immediately into a state of learned helplessness. She threw herself on the floor, completely withdrawing from the lesson. Essentially, she completely "gave up". So I quickly shifted to damage control mode and took them to a website that has numerous examples of the concept hoping there would be something she would grasp onto. (For those who are interested, a great website is http://www.phisource.com/).
There are many fascinating aspects of the Fibonacci Sequence and one can get lost on this site for hours. But, we found a the theology section of the website and it was like a light bulb came on for Austin. Her entire face lit up and she launched into a whole dissertation about how the Fibonacci principle relates to religion and the trilogy. Soon, they were working together, fully inspired, feeding off each other and building on these concepts around religion and the Fibonacci Sequence. They spent a solid hour exploring the website and digging into interesting aspects of the Golden ratio and the Fibonacci principle. They were fully inspired and engrossed in learning. At the end of the day they told me that they loved it, and learned more in one day than they do in a typical week at school. If we can keep this up, the kids will be off the charts in their learning.
Austin was getting very frustrated with the Fibonacci concept partially because Frankie was nailing it. This kind of thing is just completely intuitive for him. It's deep in his DNA. But the real problem was that I wasn't explaining it right because it was the first time I was teaching it (and truth be told, I don't fully understand it myself). She was getting frustrated and shifted immediately into a state of learned helplessness. She threw herself on the floor, completely withdrawing from the lesson. Essentially, she completely "gave up". So I quickly shifted to damage control mode and took them to a website that has numerous examples of the concept hoping there would be something she would grasp onto. (For those who are interested, a great website is http://www.phisource.com/).
There are many fascinating aspects of the Fibonacci Sequence and one can get lost on this site for hours. But, we found a the theology section of the website and it was like a light bulb came on for Austin. Her entire face lit up and she launched into a whole dissertation about how the Fibonacci principle relates to religion and the trilogy. Soon, they were working together, fully inspired, feeding off each other and building on these concepts around religion and the Fibonacci Sequence. They spent a solid hour exploring the website and digging into interesting aspects of the Golden ratio and the Fibonacci principle. They were fully inspired and engrossed in learning. At the end of the day they told me that they loved it, and learned more in one day than they do in a typical week at school. If we can keep this up, the kids will be off the charts in their learning.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
