“Authenticity” has been at the forefront of my mind for a few weeks and I have been thinking about its role my life. This week in home school, we are learning about “success” and “failure”. The speed at which the proverbial “rug” has been yanked out from under many unsuspecting folks due to the global economic crisis has left more than a few of us confusing bad luck and extenuating circumstances, with personal failure.
As our economy crumbles and our government continues to abandon common sense and founding principles, my world has been shaken to the core like a 10 point earthquake. As a result, I have stopped trusting what I once trusted, I have stopped believing in things I once believed in, and stopped assuming that everything will be okay if I work hard and plan well. The last time I remember feeling so “shaken up” and uncertain about the future was after 911. That’s a scary place and many of us, unfortunately, are here again.
We all have our own ways of dealing with crisis. I have found myself resorting to my favorite coping mechanisms; protectionism, personal accountability, and self-reliance, topped off with a healthy dose of prayer and positive thinking. I am creating my own personal “stimulus package”. At the coverage of the nationwide tea parties, I noticed a woman with a protest sign that read, quite simply, “I can stimulate myself, thank you!” It was just priceless and so well stated. And what must one do to stimulate oneself? I know what you are thinking, but this is the G rated version.
About two years ago, I realized that the lifestyle I had spent decades creating, wasn’t working for me anymore. My habits, my focus and my day to day life no longer reflected my AUTHENTIC priorities and values. In fact, the gap between the two resembled the Grand Canyon. What could I do? I decided to be like Madonna, and reinvent myself. After a thorough and “authentic” self-audit, I was left staring dazed and confused at a blank canvas called “my new life”. This confronting scenario triggered a temporary onslaught of fear, panic, anxiety, stress, sleeplessness, nausea, procrastination, denial and avoidance topped off by a strong (but unfulfilled) craving for brightly colored little pills.
Being an artist by nature who has faced a few of these blank canvases, I have learned to view them as divine opportunities to create something of beauty that will inspire others. This requires a certain mindset about success and failure and a belief that life is simply a reflection of a series of choices.
The words “success” and “failure” are the labels of meaning that we assign to the results we produce in our lives. Sometimes, the results are tremendous and we delude ourselves into thinking we are “da bomb”! Sometimes those results are horrific and we delude ourselves into thinking we are deserving of “da bomb.” Either way, the danger of labeling a result as either a “success” or a “failure” is that it directly influences our often fragile egos. If we have “succeeded”, it may go to our heads which causes a false sense of security and complacency. Likewise, when we fail, it goes to our stomachs causing discomfort and disease. We become paralyzed with fear, and have a difficult time functioning. “Analysis paralysis” thrives in this environment. That is the state in which many of us have found ourselves. Deep breath…
In order to bypass my own delicate ego, I am learning to remain emotionally detached from the results I produce. I don’t mean to imply it is okay to deny or avoid the consequences, (especially the negative consequences) of my actions. Ultimately, to be the best I can be, I must accept full responsibility for what I create in life. I simply mean, that I am learning not to view my own results in terms of “success” and “failure.” When I manage to do this, I can take a more “authentic” look at my life, make better choices for myself and progress confidently in a new direction.
A business associate who is reinventing himself recently asked me for some coaching on how to best position himself during his own “reinvention”. He was of the opinion that he needed “smoke and mirrors” to enhance his credentials. My advice to him felt very “Faith Popcorn-esque” as I shared my observations about the growing trend towards authenticity that is appearing on everything from food labels to cleaning products and the clothing we wear to the books we read.
It went something like this… “Almost everyone, from the poorest of the poor to the wealthiest of the wealthy has been affected by this crisis. Having been cheated, deceived, beguiled, mislead, and duped; either by ourselves or by others, we are now wary of formerly “trusted advisors”. Nowadays, if people sense even the slightest hint of personal misalignment, confusion or lack of clarity in another, they will “dis” (disengage and disassociate) and move on. In other words, if they can’t clearly understand what is on the label and inside the package, they simply don’t want it.
We are skeptical and impatient, desiring a return to simplicity and truthfulness. We are being challenged by deteriorating personal and global circumstances to rise to a new level of authenticity. While this may be painful in the short term, it’s a glorious chance for redemption in the long term. Don’t let a good crisis go to waste. Be authentic, beginning with yourself!
Showing posts with label challenges of homeschooling. Show all posts
Showing posts with label challenges of homeschooling. Show all posts
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Sunday, April 12, 2009
If Everyone is Talking, Then Who Exactly is Listening?
This week was an education for me in more ways than one. I jumped head first into the world of social media, specifically, micro-blogging. Yes, I am officially “face booking” and “twittering”. Experts say that upwards of 208 million people belong to these sites now (April 2009) and they project as many as 1 billion users by 2011. As a twenty year marketing veteran, I admit that I am shamefully behind on this. I am still evaluating the pros and cons of social media, but my immediate observation is that there is an awful lot of talking going on and not a lot of listening.
Our home school lesson on listening couldn’t have come at a more appropriate time. Being deeply engrossed in the autobiography of Benjamin Franklin, which recounts 50 years of the life of a man with great capacity to influence and persuade others, I wondered what he would think of “social media.” What would Benjamin Franklin tell his son about listening, and what advice would he impart about the role of social media in our 21st century culture?
I believe he might begin by telling his son that “listening” is a precious gift that we give to one another. Think about it… when someone wants to be heard, what they are really craving is significance. For just a moment, they desire the attention and acknowledgment of another human being. When we choose to actively listen, devoting 100% of our focus to another person, a positive exchange begins. And respectively, when someone really hears us, we recognize and appreciate that gift. Before we know it, we are ready to return the favor. This reciprocation can continue ad infinitum and real honest communication takes place. It is the very foundation for genuine and lasting relationships.
Benjamin Franklin might tell his son that active listening requires that one be in an ideal “listening state”. Being angry, impatient, worried, or distracted is not conducive to listening. One must be calm, present and open to really “hear” someone. Therefore, learning to listen means we must first learn to control our emotional state. Someone much wiser than me said “seek first not to be understood, but to understand.” This statement, to me, epitomizes effective listening. It suggests that a better result will be obtained if we silence our mind and open our ears before engaging our mouth. Even when we are in disagreement, we will be better able to manage our state and move to a positive resolution if we follow that advice.
Next, I think Benjamin Franklin might share the idea that listening, like writing is a learned skill which must be practiced regularly in order to gain mastery. Give and take is an essential component of conversation. This is where the nourishment of the soul and strengthening of bonds occur. If you have been caught in a “one sided conversation” with a “listening leach”, I imagine it has left you speechless, empty and unfulfilled. True relationships are founded on give and take, verbal and otherwise.
As humans, we have an inherent need for significance and will go to great lengths to get it. On this crowded but often lonely planet, is it possible that the need for significance is driving the explosion of social media? What are the long term repercussions of a world where so much of our effort is focused on personal branding and so little on authentic listening? Will talking AT each other heal the planet or hurt it?
For me, the jury is still out on the long term consequences of social media. It’s difficult to ignore a potential 1 billion user trend. However, I believe Benjamin Franklin might advise us to partake at our own risk, to maintain a healthy distance, and to allocate the lion’s share of our time and energy to opening our ears and connecting with one anothers’ souls. He would suggest that we aim to build the kind of genuine relationships that can withstand MUCH more than a power outage, computer viruses, and technical difficulties.
What role is social media playing in your life? Is there any genuine listening going on in your circles?
Our home school lesson on listening couldn’t have come at a more appropriate time. Being deeply engrossed in the autobiography of Benjamin Franklin, which recounts 50 years of the life of a man with great capacity to influence and persuade others, I wondered what he would think of “social media.” What would Benjamin Franklin tell his son about listening, and what advice would he impart about the role of social media in our 21st century culture?
I believe he might begin by telling his son that “listening” is a precious gift that we give to one another. Think about it… when someone wants to be heard, what they are really craving is significance. For just a moment, they desire the attention and acknowledgment of another human being. When we choose to actively listen, devoting 100% of our focus to another person, a positive exchange begins. And respectively, when someone really hears us, we recognize and appreciate that gift. Before we know it, we are ready to return the favor. This reciprocation can continue ad infinitum and real honest communication takes place. It is the very foundation for genuine and lasting relationships.
Benjamin Franklin might tell his son that active listening requires that one be in an ideal “listening state”. Being angry, impatient, worried, or distracted is not conducive to listening. One must be calm, present and open to really “hear” someone. Therefore, learning to listen means we must first learn to control our emotional state. Someone much wiser than me said “seek first not to be understood, but to understand.” This statement, to me, epitomizes effective listening. It suggests that a better result will be obtained if we silence our mind and open our ears before engaging our mouth. Even when we are in disagreement, we will be better able to manage our state and move to a positive resolution if we follow that advice.
Next, I think Benjamin Franklin might share the idea that listening, like writing is a learned skill which must be practiced regularly in order to gain mastery. Give and take is an essential component of conversation. This is where the nourishment of the soul and strengthening of bonds occur. If you have been caught in a “one sided conversation” with a “listening leach”, I imagine it has left you speechless, empty and unfulfilled. True relationships are founded on give and take, verbal and otherwise.
As humans, we have an inherent need for significance and will go to great lengths to get it. On this crowded but often lonely planet, is it possible that the need for significance is driving the explosion of social media? What are the long term repercussions of a world where so much of our effort is focused on personal branding and so little on authentic listening? Will talking AT each other heal the planet or hurt it?
For me, the jury is still out on the long term consequences of social media. It’s difficult to ignore a potential 1 billion user trend. However, I believe Benjamin Franklin might advise us to partake at our own risk, to maintain a healthy distance, and to allocate the lion’s share of our time and energy to opening our ears and connecting with one anothers’ souls. He would suggest that we aim to build the kind of genuine relationships that can withstand MUCH more than a power outage, computer viruses, and technical difficulties.
What role is social media playing in your life? Is there any genuine listening going on in your circles?
Friday, March 27, 2009
Are Our Children Getting What They Need? Acquiring Knowledge versus Gaining Wisdom.
One aspect of home school that I value immensely is the freedom to partake spontaneously in alternative opportunities for learning. Our very wise piano teacher invited her students to attend a dress rehearsal of the London Philharmonic Orchestra. This was a very special opportunity, and she highly encouraged attendance of this event, even if it meant missing school. She must have realized that the true value of the experience would take her students into a realm beyond knowledge. We gladly accepted the invitation and spent the better part of a morning in musical immersion!
The kids and I sat in the beautiful Segerstrom Concert Hall while billions of music molecules danced around us in perfect harmony. The situation was ideally suited to practice identifying individual instruments in an attempt to understand their unique sound characteristics. We listened to the beautiful syncopation of the orchestra as the emotion of the music flowed through their instruments to our ears. We listened intently to the conductor as he spoke quietly and passionately to the musicians about the emotions the composer was attempting to communicate to the audience through the music. For the first time, I think my children realized that each orchestra member played a vital role in bringing the music to life. Then, it struck me. This was much more than a backstage glimpse into life as a member of the symphony, it was a LESSON on life and how we each fit into the universal whole.
We begin our life with an ego centric existence completely dependent on our primary caregivers for our very survival. As we grow, we struggle for individuality, independence, recognition, significance, achievement, a sense of purpose, growth and contribution. We experience our own personal trials and tribulations as we learn our place in life. We discover that while our identity comes from our individuality, we are not complete without an intimate connection to family, friends, groups, our community, our country and our world. Eventually, we learn that in spite of our earthly accomplishments, we are nothing more than a miniscule part of a universal whole. The best we can hope for is to “share our music with others” while we are here, and to leave our legacy in the hearts of those who knew us when we are gone.
It reminded me of one of my favorite quotes by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow.
Lives of all great men remind us we can make our lives sublime, and departing leave behind us footprints on the sands of time.
The experience reminded me that whether our children are home schooled or part of the traditional school system, it is our responsibility as parents to ensure that they have ongoing opportunities that will enable them to transcend knowledge and acquire wisdom. They may gain knowledge from any situation or educational experience, but are they really acquiring wisdom? Wisdom is the ability within each of us to link broad concepts across subject matter, time and personal experience. Wisdom appears in our ability form hypothesis, experiment, draw conclusions, invent, and create in a manner that will positively advance society. Wisdom is the act of searching for the deeper meaning in things, confronting errors, and learning. Imparting wisdom in our children requires that they have a broad variety of experiences, study of core subjects, participation in the arts, mastery of sports, and acquisition of life skills. Children need time to play, think and create, to fail and rebuild, to learn moral and ethics, and to solve complex problems.
Norman Cousins, the much beloved athletic coach who used laughter to cure his cancer, once stated that “Fortunately or otherwise, we live at a time when the average individual has to know several times as much in order to keep informed as he did only thirty or forty years ago. Being ‘educated’ today requires not only more than a superficial knowledge of the arts and sciences, but a sense of inter-relationships such as is taught in few schools. Finally, being ‘educated’ today in terms of the larger needs, means preparation for world citizenship, in short--education for survival.”
I am afraid that our current education system, due to budget cuts, administrative demands on teachers that distract from teaching, large class sizes, and time constraints, has been reduced to a system of preparation for standardized testing with optional after school childcare, rather than, as Norman Cousin’s suggests, education for survival.
As I sat in the symphony with my children, I realized that this is precisely the kind of supplemental learning experience that facilitates the kind of wisdom Mr. Cousin’s finds essential. As parents, we must seek out these opportunities for our children.
The symphony was powerful and awe inspiring. My kids connected recent science lessons about atoms and molecules with the sounds of the music that literally danced around them. They studied the mechanics of the lighting and marveled at the state of the art acoustic system. They figured out how many octaves could be played on the organ that filled an entire wall of the music hall. They witnessed how vital each member of the orchestra is, even if their part, played in solo is seemingly insignificant. They realized how important a leader is to implementing the vision. They each spent an hour lost in their own thoughts and inspirations—awed by the power of live music.
And yes, there were even a few moments of napping, but I didn’t object. How many people can claim that they napped (or shall I say, committed the music to their subconscious memory) during a dress rehearsal of the London Philharmonic Orchestra? Awesome!
The kids and I sat in the beautiful Segerstrom Concert Hall while billions of music molecules danced around us in perfect harmony. The situation was ideally suited to practice identifying individual instruments in an attempt to understand their unique sound characteristics. We listened to the beautiful syncopation of the orchestra as the emotion of the music flowed through their instruments to our ears. We listened intently to the conductor as he spoke quietly and passionately to the musicians about the emotions the composer was attempting to communicate to the audience through the music. For the first time, I think my children realized that each orchestra member played a vital role in bringing the music to life. Then, it struck me. This was much more than a backstage glimpse into life as a member of the symphony, it was a LESSON on life and how we each fit into the universal whole.
We begin our life with an ego centric existence completely dependent on our primary caregivers for our very survival. As we grow, we struggle for individuality, independence, recognition, significance, achievement, a sense of purpose, growth and contribution. We experience our own personal trials and tribulations as we learn our place in life. We discover that while our identity comes from our individuality, we are not complete without an intimate connection to family, friends, groups, our community, our country and our world. Eventually, we learn that in spite of our earthly accomplishments, we are nothing more than a miniscule part of a universal whole. The best we can hope for is to “share our music with others” while we are here, and to leave our legacy in the hearts of those who knew us when we are gone.
It reminded me of one of my favorite quotes by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow.
Lives of all great men remind us we can make our lives sublime, and departing leave behind us footprints on the sands of time.
The experience reminded me that whether our children are home schooled or part of the traditional school system, it is our responsibility as parents to ensure that they have ongoing opportunities that will enable them to transcend knowledge and acquire wisdom. They may gain knowledge from any situation or educational experience, but are they really acquiring wisdom? Wisdom is the ability within each of us to link broad concepts across subject matter, time and personal experience. Wisdom appears in our ability form hypothesis, experiment, draw conclusions, invent, and create in a manner that will positively advance society. Wisdom is the act of searching for the deeper meaning in things, confronting errors, and learning. Imparting wisdom in our children requires that they have a broad variety of experiences, study of core subjects, participation in the arts, mastery of sports, and acquisition of life skills. Children need time to play, think and create, to fail and rebuild, to learn moral and ethics, and to solve complex problems.
Norman Cousins, the much beloved athletic coach who used laughter to cure his cancer, once stated that “Fortunately or otherwise, we live at a time when the average individual has to know several times as much in order to keep informed as he did only thirty or forty years ago. Being ‘educated’ today requires not only more than a superficial knowledge of the arts and sciences, but a sense of inter-relationships such as is taught in few schools. Finally, being ‘educated’ today in terms of the larger needs, means preparation for world citizenship, in short--education for survival.”
I am afraid that our current education system, due to budget cuts, administrative demands on teachers that distract from teaching, large class sizes, and time constraints, has been reduced to a system of preparation for standardized testing with optional after school childcare, rather than, as Norman Cousin’s suggests, education for survival.
As I sat in the symphony with my children, I realized that this is precisely the kind of supplemental learning experience that facilitates the kind of wisdom Mr. Cousin’s finds essential. As parents, we must seek out these opportunities for our children.
The symphony was powerful and awe inspiring. My kids connected recent science lessons about atoms and molecules with the sounds of the music that literally danced around them. They studied the mechanics of the lighting and marveled at the state of the art acoustic system. They figured out how many octaves could be played on the organ that filled an entire wall of the music hall. They witnessed how vital each member of the orchestra is, even if their part, played in solo is seemingly insignificant. They realized how important a leader is to implementing the vision. They each spent an hour lost in their own thoughts and inspirations—awed by the power of live music.
And yes, there were even a few moments of napping, but I didn’t object. How many people can claim that they napped (or shall I say, committed the music to their subconscious memory) during a dress rehearsal of the London Philharmonic Orchestra? Awesome!
Thursday, February 5, 2009
The 3rd Great Thing about Home School-- Eating Like Our Lives Depend on It!
You are what you eat, from your head down to your feet. Isn’t that the truth? The challenge when my kids were in traditional school was that I never knew what they were eating. I sent them away everyday with their lunch boxes filled with wholesome healthy food. My son often opted for recess over lunch and didn’t eat a thing all day, which lead to concentration deficiencies, mood swings and incidents of hypoglycemia.
I never did figure out what my daughter was eating. Sometimes she came home with an empty box. Sometimes there were remnants of items she had obviously traded away for something much more “highly coveted” by her elementary school culinary standards. I had nightmares wondering what she may have ingested, and constantly wondered which kid in her class was benefitting from my carefully selected, nutritional items. And then, horror of horrors, she coerced me into participating in the school lunch program. I now understand exactly how my mother felt—defeated and guilty!
I am admittedly, somewhat of a “food purist” at this point in my life. When I hit 40 a few years ago depleted of energy and vitality, I realized that the “root cause” of my lethargy was my nutrition and if I didn’t turn things around, by the time I was 60, I would be out of steam. I am planning on reaching at least 100, so eating poorly wasn’t an option. Going forward, I decided, I would have to eat as if my life depended on it, literally!
Interestingly, I had always considered myself a healthy eater, so facing the fact that I was very under informed was hard on my ego. I learned that due to my poor eating habits and extreme stress from my role as an entrepreneur, wife and mother, I was an acid producing machine. I had become a veritable “Petri dish” for toxicity, disease, and even potentially, cancer growth. I had created the perfect environment in my system to quickly destroy itself. I can only hope that through a series of cleanses, I have removed that toxicity and there are no remnants hanging around from the old days.
Anyway, I launched a two year, massive personal research study on food, nutrition, detoxification, and hormones. And slowly, over the course of those two years, completely changed what my family eats when we are in our house. How did I do this? I read and read and read the best resources I could find and then formed my opinions when three or more experts seemed to be saying the same thing and had the research to back it. I attended seminars, fasted and cleansed to reduce toxins in my system. I have even become an avid enthusiast of the “dreaded colon cleanse.” I can’t say enough about it!
Granted, I am still not as thin as I would like to be because I haven’t made exercise a daily MUST for myself, although my “really clean friend”, guru and yogi master Gina, recently inspired me to get back into yoga. Thank you Gina! Even though I average about 5-7 hours of sleep a night, still have more than enough energy to give each day my best.
Applying these eating habits in my family while we were in traditional school often did not go as planned. I managed to keep myself on my track fairly well, and when I could find time to cook, my family ate well. But like many other families in the US, we were starved for time and nutrition. I was caught on the proverbial treadmill, juggling work, carpools, errands, kids, and husband. I held up the “white flag” too often as I surrendered to the fast food alternative, just for the sake of quieting the hunger cries from my tribe while adhering to schedules. This created nothing but bad habits and deep inner conflict. More guilt, thank you. Don’t Mom’s already have enough?
Which leads me to what I love about home school…The food guilt complex is obliterated!
We eat almost all our meals at home now, prepared by me and monitored by me. My family is eating well. My son has grown 6 inches in the last 8 months and I can only attribute it to the improvement in diet. I share information about food and healthy living practices, including my feelings about the importance of colon cleansing with the kids on a regular basis. They cringe and giggle, but there is mounting evidence that they have been listening.
My 9 year old son is very health conscious now and carefully monitors his glucose/protein balance on his own. He has virtually eliminated sugar from his diet, with the exception of the occasional treat here and there. I feed him his vitamin packed smoothies daily so I know he is getting all his essential nutrients and fatty acids.
My daughter remains resistant my healthy smoothies and is by all accounts, a true “junk food junkie” who would eat donuts daily if allowed. And it’s unfortunate, because she is a gifted dancer who will need good eating habits for peak performance. But I was shocked just recently when we were caught in a now rare situation which called for a fast food solution. I meekly suggested Burger King. She declared, “Mom, can’t we go someplace healthier, I feel really bad when I eat fast food.” And today, she said, “Mom, I am really starting to dislike dairy. I really don’t feel good when I eat it. I am going to find alternatives.” Wow! Not to say she won’t continue to be child-like in her food choices. She’s only 10. My expectations are relatively low. But that was completely unexpected!
I guess we’re all on the program now to one degree or another, eating as though our lives depend on it. I'll let you know when they request a colon cleanse.
I never did figure out what my daughter was eating. Sometimes she came home with an empty box. Sometimes there were remnants of items she had obviously traded away for something much more “highly coveted” by her elementary school culinary standards. I had nightmares wondering what she may have ingested, and constantly wondered which kid in her class was benefitting from my carefully selected, nutritional items. And then, horror of horrors, she coerced me into participating in the school lunch program. I now understand exactly how my mother felt—defeated and guilty!
I am admittedly, somewhat of a “food purist” at this point in my life. When I hit 40 a few years ago depleted of energy and vitality, I realized that the “root cause” of my lethargy was my nutrition and if I didn’t turn things around, by the time I was 60, I would be out of steam. I am planning on reaching at least 100, so eating poorly wasn’t an option. Going forward, I decided, I would have to eat as if my life depended on it, literally!
Interestingly, I had always considered myself a healthy eater, so facing the fact that I was very under informed was hard on my ego. I learned that due to my poor eating habits and extreme stress from my role as an entrepreneur, wife and mother, I was an acid producing machine. I had become a veritable “Petri dish” for toxicity, disease, and even potentially, cancer growth. I had created the perfect environment in my system to quickly destroy itself. I can only hope that through a series of cleanses, I have removed that toxicity and there are no remnants hanging around from the old days.
Anyway, I launched a two year, massive personal research study on food, nutrition, detoxification, and hormones. And slowly, over the course of those two years, completely changed what my family eats when we are in our house. How did I do this? I read and read and read the best resources I could find and then formed my opinions when three or more experts seemed to be saying the same thing and had the research to back it. I attended seminars, fasted and cleansed to reduce toxins in my system. I have even become an avid enthusiast of the “dreaded colon cleanse.” I can’t say enough about it!
Granted, I am still not as thin as I would like to be because I haven’t made exercise a daily MUST for myself, although my “really clean friend”, guru and yogi master Gina, recently inspired me to get back into yoga. Thank you Gina! Even though I average about 5-7 hours of sleep a night, still have more than enough energy to give each day my best.
Applying these eating habits in my family while we were in traditional school often did not go as planned. I managed to keep myself on my track fairly well, and when I could find time to cook, my family ate well. But like many other families in the US, we were starved for time and nutrition. I was caught on the proverbial treadmill, juggling work, carpools, errands, kids, and husband. I held up the “white flag” too often as I surrendered to the fast food alternative, just for the sake of quieting the hunger cries from my tribe while adhering to schedules. This created nothing but bad habits and deep inner conflict. More guilt, thank you. Don’t Mom’s already have enough?
Which leads me to what I love about home school…The food guilt complex is obliterated!
We eat almost all our meals at home now, prepared by me and monitored by me. My family is eating well. My son has grown 6 inches in the last 8 months and I can only attribute it to the improvement in diet. I share information about food and healthy living practices, including my feelings about the importance of colon cleansing with the kids on a regular basis. They cringe and giggle, but there is mounting evidence that they have been listening.
My 9 year old son is very health conscious now and carefully monitors his glucose/protein balance on his own. He has virtually eliminated sugar from his diet, with the exception of the occasional treat here and there. I feed him his vitamin packed smoothies daily so I know he is getting all his essential nutrients and fatty acids.
My daughter remains resistant my healthy smoothies and is by all accounts, a true “junk food junkie” who would eat donuts daily if allowed. And it’s unfortunate, because she is a gifted dancer who will need good eating habits for peak performance. But I was shocked just recently when we were caught in a now rare situation which called for a fast food solution. I meekly suggested Burger King. She declared, “Mom, can’t we go someplace healthier, I feel really bad when I eat fast food.” And today, she said, “Mom, I am really starting to dislike dairy. I really don’t feel good when I eat it. I am going to find alternatives.” Wow! Not to say she won’t continue to be child-like in her food choices. She’s only 10. My expectations are relatively low. But that was completely unexpected!
I guess we’re all on the program now to one degree or another, eating as though our lives depend on it. I'll let you know when they request a colon cleanse.
Week 4 Wrap Up: Be like Wall-e and Find One Green Thing to Nurture.
These blogs usually come in a flood of inspiration, and when they do, they flow from my brain to my hands faster than I can type. This week I have struggled. How could I top last week’s wrap up on unconditional love? I’ve thought about it all week, and the fact that we didn’t make as much progress as I had hoped for on the second half of our “unconditional love studies” left me with very little to be inspired about. But, I have learned that given time, the inspiration always comes.
And there it was, right at the forefront of my emotions. My dear friend of 33 years, who was scheduled for a radical mastectomy today, provided the source of inspiration and reminded me that our treasured friendships which are so easily and often neglected are one of our most readily available sources of giving and receiving unconditional love.
She called me a few hours before the surgery with a last minute request pertaining to her daughter. It was a BIG ONE and it took approximately 5 seconds to respond to her with my one word response, “YES!” Although I did qualify my response by saying that I needed to discuss it with my better half. I called her back one minute later with his 2 word response, “of course”. Maybe husbands who love wives unconditionally, transfer that love to their wives’ “unconditionally loved friends”. Just a theory.
I am not making myself or my hubby a hero. The hero in this story spent 10 hours on the operating table today enduring what no woman should have to endure. I was, however, simply and profoundly reminded how effortless our decisions and actions are when it comes to those we love unconditionally.
Interestingly, our anger, resentment and judgment are often as effortless. We fly off the handle, over react, judge and criticize without a second thought, and we feel “justified” while unleashing our wrath. The tougher challenge for us human is transferring the same type of thoughtless, selfless love we so readily bestow on our loved ones to those who are unknown to us—the strangers we encounter who we judge instantaneously by the clothes they wear, the way they look, their social class, the neighborhood they live in or some other superficial quality like their culture, race, or religions. When we transfer anger and judgment instead of love and acceptance, we lower the energy vibration around us. What we all really want is to be loved.
Tonight, I was fortunate to have a few hours alone with my son to watch one of his favorite movies, Wall E. I highly recommend it. The main character, Wall-e, is a lonely robot left on an earth that has been abandoned by humans. Wall-e has a directive, to collect and compact junk into junk bricks which are used to build things on this forsaken planet formerly known as Earth.
As he moves through his daily routine, completely and utterly alone, he saves a few treasures from the trash for his own use and enjoyment. Interestingly, his favorite items are a video tape of the musical, Hello Dolly, and a single green seedling of a plant which he keeps in a boot. As far as we can tell, it’s the only plant left on earth and he nurtures it carefully. Every so often, he pauses from the routine of his day to be inspired as the stars of the musical sing his favorite lines from the theme song, “all we want is to be loved our whole life long”.
I don’t know how to solve this love problem. It is epidemic. I just know that one conscious move in a positive direction per day by each human being on this planet will add up to a big difference over time.
So, take inventory. If you are lucky enough to have a few priceless friends and loved ones in your life, surprise them with an outreach of your most heartfelt appreciation and gratitude. And then take it one step farther.
In every situation, with every person you meet, look for the “one green thing” to appreciate and nuture, and together, we can watch the world grow in unconditional love.
And there it was, right at the forefront of my emotions. My dear friend of 33 years, who was scheduled for a radical mastectomy today, provided the source of inspiration and reminded me that our treasured friendships which are so easily and often neglected are one of our most readily available sources of giving and receiving unconditional love.
She called me a few hours before the surgery with a last minute request pertaining to her daughter. It was a BIG ONE and it took approximately 5 seconds to respond to her with my one word response, “YES!” Although I did qualify my response by saying that I needed to discuss it with my better half. I called her back one minute later with his 2 word response, “of course”. Maybe husbands who love wives unconditionally, transfer that love to their wives’ “unconditionally loved friends”. Just a theory.
I am not making myself or my hubby a hero. The hero in this story spent 10 hours on the operating table today enduring what no woman should have to endure. I was, however, simply and profoundly reminded how effortless our decisions and actions are when it comes to those we love unconditionally.
Interestingly, our anger, resentment and judgment are often as effortless. We fly off the handle, over react, judge and criticize without a second thought, and we feel “justified” while unleashing our wrath. The tougher challenge for us human is transferring the same type of thoughtless, selfless love we so readily bestow on our loved ones to those who are unknown to us—the strangers we encounter who we judge instantaneously by the clothes they wear, the way they look, their social class, the neighborhood they live in or some other superficial quality like their culture, race, or religions. When we transfer anger and judgment instead of love and acceptance, we lower the energy vibration around us. What we all really want is to be loved.
Tonight, I was fortunate to have a few hours alone with my son to watch one of his favorite movies, Wall E. I highly recommend it. The main character, Wall-e, is a lonely robot left on an earth that has been abandoned by humans. Wall-e has a directive, to collect and compact junk into junk bricks which are used to build things on this forsaken planet formerly known as Earth.
As he moves through his daily routine, completely and utterly alone, he saves a few treasures from the trash for his own use and enjoyment. Interestingly, his favorite items are a video tape of the musical, Hello Dolly, and a single green seedling of a plant which he keeps in a boot. As far as we can tell, it’s the only plant left on earth and he nurtures it carefully. Every so often, he pauses from the routine of his day to be inspired as the stars of the musical sing his favorite lines from the theme song, “all we want is to be loved our whole life long”.
I don’t know how to solve this love problem. It is epidemic. I just know that one conscious move in a positive direction per day by each human being on this planet will add up to a big difference over time.
So, take inventory. If you are lucky enough to have a few priceless friends and loved ones in your life, surprise them with an outreach of your most heartfelt appreciation and gratitude. And then take it one step farther.
In every situation, with every person you meet, look for the “one green thing” to appreciate and nuture, and together, we can watch the world grow in unconditional love.
Monday, February 2, 2009
Home School as a Place for Manifesting Miracles.
Whoever said home school was going to be easy should be taken out into the back alley for a little whoopin’! We have mostly great days, but occasionally, a real “dog downer of a day” comes along and we need a miracle to pull us through. A miracle, by definition, is an achievement by a person or group of people of an impossible goal through specific thoughts and actions. Successful home schooling, I am finding, is contingent our ability to manifest miracles.
Each day, we enter the room with our collective “stuff”. Not our physical stuff (i.e. books, computers, etc…). But our metaphysical stuff--our attitudes, our moods, our worries and responsibilities from outside the classroom, our sibling rivalry, our distractions, and our expectations. If I walk into the room with even a hint of this metaphysical baggage, they are on me like a hound dog following a scent trail at a crime scene. Somehow, by the grace of God and my own will power, I must package up all this stuff and put it aside in order to allow the miracles to come forth.
I have a new found respect for teachers and the teaching profession. I have a newfound respect for any home schoolin’ mama who has been doing this successfully for more than a month. Any teacher or mom who can hold a child’s interest and respect for an extended period of time has creative skills that could make them millions if they had chosen another profession. They must have a higher purpose in mind.
As human beings, we have a dichotomy of needs including the need for certainty and uncertainty. We need a little “meat and potatoes” and we need a little “spice”. The trick is balancing the structure and repetition with the plain old fun. Repetition is the mother of skill, but repetition can quickly create boredom and frustration which (in our house) gets expressed in interludes involving rolling and writhing on the floor in protest, picking on siblings, and storming out of the room for a little added drama.
On these days, I do the only thing I know how to do…plead to the powers that be (the kids of course) for help. Getting a healthy dose of “kiddie criticism” allows me to find opportunities to improve my “techniques”.
Evidently, per my children, Jeopardy, is desperately needed in our home school if we want to progress in the miracle manifestation department. I don’t even watch Jeopardy, so this all seems a little overwhelming. Never mind. I have enlisted their help to create the Power Point template that will allow me provide a weekly outlet for fun. That counts as computer class, right? It sounds thrilling. It sounds creative. It sounds like a small miracle will be needed to make this happen.
But I am now a creative and resourceful home schoolin' mama. I can manifest miracles daily!
Each day, we enter the room with our collective “stuff”. Not our physical stuff (i.e. books, computers, etc…). But our metaphysical stuff--our attitudes, our moods, our worries and responsibilities from outside the classroom, our sibling rivalry, our distractions, and our expectations. If I walk into the room with even a hint of this metaphysical baggage, they are on me like a hound dog following a scent trail at a crime scene. Somehow, by the grace of God and my own will power, I must package up all this stuff and put it aside in order to allow the miracles to come forth.
I have a new found respect for teachers and the teaching profession. I have a newfound respect for any home schoolin’ mama who has been doing this successfully for more than a month. Any teacher or mom who can hold a child’s interest and respect for an extended period of time has creative skills that could make them millions if they had chosen another profession. They must have a higher purpose in mind.
As human beings, we have a dichotomy of needs including the need for certainty and uncertainty. We need a little “meat and potatoes” and we need a little “spice”. The trick is balancing the structure and repetition with the plain old fun. Repetition is the mother of skill, but repetition can quickly create boredom and frustration which (in our house) gets expressed in interludes involving rolling and writhing on the floor in protest, picking on siblings, and storming out of the room for a little added drama.
On these days, I do the only thing I know how to do…plead to the powers that be (the kids of course) for help. Getting a healthy dose of “kiddie criticism” allows me to find opportunities to improve my “techniques”.
Evidently, per my children, Jeopardy, is desperately needed in our home school if we want to progress in the miracle manifestation department. I don’t even watch Jeopardy, so this all seems a little overwhelming. Never mind. I have enlisted their help to create the Power Point template that will allow me provide a weekly outlet for fun. That counts as computer class, right? It sounds thrilling. It sounds creative. It sounds like a small miracle will be needed to make this happen.
But I am now a creative and resourceful home schoolin' mama. I can manifest miracles daily!
Thursday, January 29, 2009
A great thing about home schooling--knowing that I know that they know what they should know.
I promised to share my top 10 list of things I love about home school. I discovered a new one today and it’s about “knowing” as I have so eloquently stated in the title of this blog.
When my kids were in school, I had concrete ways to “measure” their success such as their grades, conduct, teacher qualifications, child/teacher ratios and the reputation of the school they were attending. But if you had asked me at any given time, if I knew what they knew, I would have said, “No. Not only do I NOT know what they know, but I don’t know if they know it.” Somehow, I rationalized that this was okay. “They’re in a top private school and performing very well by their standards, so I am sure it’s all very fine”, I convinced myself.
In preparation for homeschooling, one must start by reviewing and analyzing curriculums. (Not easy, by the way if you are not from the world of academia). I now realize that many of the curriculums chosen by schools are “dumbed down” as my mom puts it. They are designed to move the average along at an average, state determined pace. And with California ranking in the lower tier of states for education, I am not sure that’s a great standard to be striving for.
I was really impressed with the quality of curriculum available for home school use and realized that with a few of those programs and my own creativity, the kids could be challenged to a new level. The bar had been raised, and with it, my own standards for “knowing”. I rediscovered my own love of learning, and according to my wise friend Tina, that’s the best thing we can hope to instill in our kids! I just hope it’s contagious.
In this process, two things have become very clear to me; 1] kids today are expected to know ALOT more than we were, and 2] prior to college, I had a very marginal education. I have no regrets. I am simply stating a fact. One of the joys of homeschooling for me right now is the joy of learning what they are learning so I know when they know it. In order to do that, I am relearning things I didn’t quite “learn” the first time around, and learning a plethora of new things I never thought I would—all so that I will know if they know. The testing of the “knowing” is unchartered water for me. And, as my children have told me this week, in no uncertain terms, I am not so great at the testing of the knowing. I’ll be working on that.
Schools devise a number of safety nets designed to catch those students potentially falling through the cracks. We even develop national government supported programs for this like “no child left behind”. In home school, the safety net is sharing their frustration when the learning is slow and seeing their face light up when they have mastered something well enough to KNOW it.
I have my curriculum plan, but when push comes to shove, we will go at our own pace until we KNOW!
When my kids were in school, I had concrete ways to “measure” their success such as their grades, conduct, teacher qualifications, child/teacher ratios and the reputation of the school they were attending. But if you had asked me at any given time, if I knew what they knew, I would have said, “No. Not only do I NOT know what they know, but I don’t know if they know it.” Somehow, I rationalized that this was okay. “They’re in a top private school and performing very well by their standards, so I am sure it’s all very fine”, I convinced myself.
In preparation for homeschooling, one must start by reviewing and analyzing curriculums. (Not easy, by the way if you are not from the world of academia). I now realize that many of the curriculums chosen by schools are “dumbed down” as my mom puts it. They are designed to move the average along at an average, state determined pace. And with California ranking in the lower tier of states for education, I am not sure that’s a great standard to be striving for.
I was really impressed with the quality of curriculum available for home school use and realized that with a few of those programs and my own creativity, the kids could be challenged to a new level. The bar had been raised, and with it, my own standards for “knowing”. I rediscovered my own love of learning, and according to my wise friend Tina, that’s the best thing we can hope to instill in our kids! I just hope it’s contagious.
In this process, two things have become very clear to me; 1] kids today are expected to know ALOT more than we were, and 2] prior to college, I had a very marginal education. I have no regrets. I am simply stating a fact. One of the joys of homeschooling for me right now is the joy of learning what they are learning so I know when they know it. In order to do that, I am relearning things I didn’t quite “learn” the first time around, and learning a plethora of new things I never thought I would—all so that I will know if they know. The testing of the “knowing” is unchartered water for me. And, as my children have told me this week, in no uncertain terms, I am not so great at the testing of the knowing. I’ll be working on that.
Schools devise a number of safety nets designed to catch those students potentially falling through the cracks. We even develop national government supported programs for this like “no child left behind”. In home school, the safety net is sharing their frustration when the learning is slow and seeing their face light up when they have mastered something well enough to KNOW it.
I have my curriculum plan, but when push comes to shove, we will go at our own pace until we KNOW!
Friday, January 9, 2009
The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly.
My home school bubble has burst! Well, that might be an overstatement of sorts. But I knew it wouldn’t last. Today, I gained some insight as to what will work for us and what won’t in the Eder Family Home School.
It all started with my hair—my gosh darned blasted hair. I just wanted to wash it and blowdry it. No, let me restate that, I wanted to style it. I’ll admit it. I wanted to take my time and actually make it look “hot”. I wanted to put on makeup as if I was actually going out to face my old life working outside the home. I didn’t’ think it was too much to ask. I only devote a total of 1-2 hours a week for my hair, much less, I think than most women. But it is an hour or two I treasure immensely. For at least 2-3 days leading up to the event, I anticipate the hot steam of the shower and the deafening roar of the blow dryer that conveniently drowns out the background noise of children, husband, phone calls and contractors at the door. (Did I mention my husband is a serial fixer-upper? That’s another blog).
What happened next is my own fault. I know that. Shame on me for selfishly desiring those 60 minutes to myself. Shame on me for scheduling it at the beginning of the day. Shame on me if I told a little white lie to make it happen. And the rest of the day was about karmic payback and I knew it.
At breakfast, I cheerfully explained to the kids “that the day was going to be structured a little differently to provide some extra excitement and a little variety”. (It doesn’t really count as a white lie if I am providing some fun, I rationalized). “We’re going to begin by watching the Mother Theresa movie up in my room as research for our leadership reports.” I explained, “And by the way, I’ll just be in my bathroom drying my hair”. Cheers and applause erupted around our breakfast table. Just when you set a plan in action, God will throw you a few curveballs. The Mother Theresa video was nowhere to be found. 15 minutes spent running around the house looking for it put us 15 minutes behind on “our schedule”.
No worries. I have very important titles on my resume from my past life like Principal, CEO, Creative Director and VP, and I am now a resourceful homeschoolin’mama. I can fix this. “Kids, go get your laptops, you can curl up in my bed and conduct internet research on Mother Theresa”, I continued. Small groans, but the plan was accepted by the troops. I smiled and disappeared to the shower.
15 incredible, hot, lathery, steamy moments later I emerged a new woman. I was quickly aroused from my zen-like trance by the piercing screams of my 9 year old son when there is a technology failure at our house. “The internet is down!” he wailed. 20 more minutes spent running around the house checking all the routers and internet connections put us another yet another 20 minutes behind. “ Did we pay the bill?” I pondered. I was cold and my hair was starting to frizz. Again, resourceful homeschoolin’ mama solved the problem. “Find the connectors and hardwire yourself into the Ethernet.” I ordered.
Peace and tranquility slowly returned and the kids resumed their positions on my unmade bed. (Note to self; still gotta get to that. I subconsciously tacked another 5 minute delay onto the schedule). I searched the house for a spray bottle to get my hair back into a “primed for styling” state. 30 minutes behind plus the 20 minutes we lost before plus another 5 for bed making. “Did I clean the kitchen yet, I wondered. “ What would that cost me?” Wow. We were really off track. Mild panic set in. I didn’t want to fail on day 4. I needed to at least get through a week to pass the unspoken, new home school family “initiation” period. You are not really part of the club unless you have made it through a full week.
I refocused on my primary task. “Just get the hair dry, Kim.” I settled. Styling was becoming less important with each minute that got added to our day, and makeup? “I look okay without make up don’t I?” I rationalized. 45 minutes later, I retired the blow dryer, put on my clothing (workout wear , of course, so I could try to sneak in some yoga). I went to check on the kids, expecting pages teeming with inspiring snippet’s on Mother Theresa. Instead, I found Frankie working on his Fibonacci spreadsheet in Excel, and Austin was creating her Fibonacci report in Power Point. Not really what I envisioned, but still part of the program, so in one, deep yoga breathe, I let it go.
You can guess how the rest of the day went. The schedule was off—way off. I lost the respect of my proteges and command of the classroom. They suddenly thought they were in charge. They had to be, right? When you can’t respect your leader, you have to take charge. That’s what my irrational brain told me was happening at least. But somehow, we made it through. And at the end of the day we checked everything off our list that we needed to complete. And I knew in my heart that they had still learned more in one day than they had learned in 2-3 days of school. And they got all that from their mama. I was pretty proud!
Going forward, we will not deviate!
We WILL follow the schedule. It WILL start with leadership (which is my chance to get in 30 -40 minutes of yoga while we all listen to someone wiser than me say something very intelligent via audiotape). There WILL be a shower, makeup, deodorant and clean underwear before I even think about coming down for the day so I can be a “home schoolin' hottie”, not just a “homeschoolin' mama. And, if my hair needs a “style”, I will do it late the night before, put on my makeup and sleep in it.
And going forward…all will be good!
It all started with my hair—my gosh darned blasted hair. I just wanted to wash it and blowdry it. No, let me restate that, I wanted to style it. I’ll admit it. I wanted to take my time and actually make it look “hot”. I wanted to put on makeup as if I was actually going out to face my old life working outside the home. I didn’t’ think it was too much to ask. I only devote a total of 1-2 hours a week for my hair, much less, I think than most women. But it is an hour or two I treasure immensely. For at least 2-3 days leading up to the event, I anticipate the hot steam of the shower and the deafening roar of the blow dryer that conveniently drowns out the background noise of children, husband, phone calls and contractors at the door. (Did I mention my husband is a serial fixer-upper? That’s another blog).
What happened next is my own fault. I know that. Shame on me for selfishly desiring those 60 minutes to myself. Shame on me for scheduling it at the beginning of the day. Shame on me if I told a little white lie to make it happen. And the rest of the day was about karmic payback and I knew it.
At breakfast, I cheerfully explained to the kids “that the day was going to be structured a little differently to provide some extra excitement and a little variety”. (It doesn’t really count as a white lie if I am providing some fun, I rationalized). “We’re going to begin by watching the Mother Theresa movie up in my room as research for our leadership reports.” I explained, “And by the way, I’ll just be in my bathroom drying my hair”. Cheers and applause erupted around our breakfast table. Just when you set a plan in action, God will throw you a few curveballs. The Mother Theresa video was nowhere to be found. 15 minutes spent running around the house looking for it put us 15 minutes behind on “our schedule”.
No worries. I have very important titles on my resume from my past life like Principal, CEO, Creative Director and VP, and I am now a resourceful homeschoolin’mama. I can fix this. “Kids, go get your laptops, you can curl up in my bed and conduct internet research on Mother Theresa”, I continued. Small groans, but the plan was accepted by the troops. I smiled and disappeared to the shower.
15 incredible, hot, lathery, steamy moments later I emerged a new woman. I was quickly aroused from my zen-like trance by the piercing screams of my 9 year old son when there is a technology failure at our house. “The internet is down!” he wailed. 20 more minutes spent running around the house checking all the routers and internet connections put us another yet another 20 minutes behind. “ Did we pay the bill?” I pondered. I was cold and my hair was starting to frizz. Again, resourceful homeschoolin’ mama solved the problem. “Find the connectors and hardwire yourself into the Ethernet.” I ordered.
Peace and tranquility slowly returned and the kids resumed their positions on my unmade bed. (Note to self; still gotta get to that. I subconsciously tacked another 5 minute delay onto the schedule). I searched the house for a spray bottle to get my hair back into a “primed for styling” state. 30 minutes behind plus the 20 minutes we lost before plus another 5 for bed making. “Did I clean the kitchen yet, I wondered. “ What would that cost me?” Wow. We were really off track. Mild panic set in. I didn’t want to fail on day 4. I needed to at least get through a week to pass the unspoken, new home school family “initiation” period. You are not really part of the club unless you have made it through a full week.
I refocused on my primary task. “Just get the hair dry, Kim.” I settled. Styling was becoming less important with each minute that got added to our day, and makeup? “I look okay without make up don’t I?” I rationalized. 45 minutes later, I retired the blow dryer, put on my clothing (workout wear , of course, so I could try to sneak in some yoga). I went to check on the kids, expecting pages teeming with inspiring snippet’s on Mother Theresa. Instead, I found Frankie working on his Fibonacci spreadsheet in Excel, and Austin was creating her Fibonacci report in Power Point. Not really what I envisioned, but still part of the program, so in one, deep yoga breathe, I let it go.
You can guess how the rest of the day went. The schedule was off—way off. I lost the respect of my proteges and command of the classroom. They suddenly thought they were in charge. They had to be, right? When you can’t respect your leader, you have to take charge. That’s what my irrational brain told me was happening at least. But somehow, we made it through. And at the end of the day we checked everything off our list that we needed to complete. And I knew in my heart that they had still learned more in one day than they had learned in 2-3 days of school. And they got all that from their mama. I was pretty proud!
Going forward, we will not deviate!
We WILL follow the schedule. It WILL start with leadership (which is my chance to get in 30 -40 minutes of yoga while we all listen to someone wiser than me say something very intelligent via audiotape). There WILL be a shower, makeup, deodorant and clean underwear before I even think about coming down for the day so I can be a “home schoolin' hottie”, not just a “homeschoolin' mama. And, if my hair needs a “style”, I will do it late the night before, put on my makeup and sleep in it.
And going forward…all will be good!
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