I have been getting the “why” question a lot lately. In fact, a mom responded thoughtfully to one of my blogs on Cafemom.com today and inquired about a seeming discrepancy in something I wrote. I mentioned that before our decision to home school, we were in a lovely Catholic school with great teachers. She wanted to know why we made the decision to home school if we were happy with our school. It wasn’t that anything was specifically wrong. It was that everything wasn’t right!
I felt we could do so much better! I knew in my heart that our family was being pulled in too many directions. We were starved for any kind of time, let alone quality family time. We were suffering, individually and as a family. There weren’t any alarming behavioral problems. The kids were getting great grades, developing friendships and they were generally in a good mood when I picked them up. But the little things were adding up. Bickering in the car on the way home, hardly being able to get out of bed in the morning, being unenthusiastic and resistant to the next organized activity or event posed constant parenting challenges. I was tired, impatient and crabby, and I am adult who can control my emotions. My children definitely weren’t getting the best of me. If I was tired and crabby, I knew they must be too, even more so.
My observation is that as a society, we are caught up in a predetermined and unquestioned system of operating. We are so “caught up in keeping up”, that we don’t have the time and energy to question why we are doing it until something dramatic happens. Every home school parent I have spoken too has had their “straw that broke the camel’s back” moment--that unforgettable moment of truth that caused them to take a second look at what they were doing, question everything, and acknowledge that things could be different.
I had that moment. Several of them, in fact, had stacked on top of each other until I had reached my personal breaking point. The system was holding my family hostage. I was like Mel Gibson in the movie Ransom—I wanted my family back, and I was willing to pay any price! Ironically, the price I am paying now is significantly less than that private school cost.
We are a pretty typical family, I think. My husband and I have been married for 14 years. We have two kids and a dog. My husband works, a lot. I had my own company for the last 20 years, and have decided now to stay at home to teach the kids. Our kids are involved in a number of activities and have active social lives. It wasn’t that we wanted to give things up as much as it was that we wanted to use our time more effectively so we could spend more time with each other. Serving as the family chauffeur, putting on 100 + miles per day so that other people could teach and influence my children didn’t seem to be the best use of time. It certainly wasn’t in the best interest of my family. It wasn’t working for us. With home school, we have cut most of the driving, increased our learning, eliminated homework (don’t get me started on homework as the world’s greatest time stealer), and taken back our family life.
I want to stress, that I am not here to criticize traditional school or those who choose that path. We, personally have been in schools we have loved and some that were not so great. I know many folks in great schools that are thrilled. They system works for them. I have also met some home school families who really aren’t doing their kids any favor. So there can be problems with any system as well as benefits.
What I AM advocating is that we all take a serious look at our lives to see what is working and what is not working. Life is short. If something isn’t working, change it. As a society, we need to question the distractions in our lives that keep us from remaining family focused. We live in a country that encourages creative solutions. Anything is possible with imagination, creativity, resourcefulness and flexibility.
If your life is holding you hostage, take it back! The power to choose the life we have dreamed of is entirely within our control.
Sunday, February 15, 2009
Thursday, February 12, 2009
The Fourth Thing I Love About Home Schooling—Witnessing Divine Inspiration!
One fabulous thing about children is that God and all that is “divine” easily comes through them. Anyone who spends some quality time with children has witnessed this phenomenon. I have a theory developing about home schooling. I think, because home school is tailored to your children’s interests, they spend more time in a state of mastery, which allows more of these moments to happen. And, because you are right there with them, there is no way to miss it, unless you happen to be making them a snack.
Here’s what happened to us today. We are studying the American Revolution and I wanted the kids to write a poem today about George Washington crossing the Delaware. My recollection of learning this event was very vague. I am pretty sure this subject was covered in one paragraph of a history primer some time during second or third grade and then long forgotten. What we have learned this time around is much more comprehensive because this is now our favorite subject. I need to give a brief accounting of this event so you understand the context of what she wrote. If you are a history buff, bear with me.
George Washington was a hero in the eyes of the Colonists and a “shoe in” as the first General of the Colonial Army. Interestingly, his career as a General, prior to and during the Revolution pretty much consisted of losses in battles. He didn’t exactly have great winning stats behind him. He desperately needed “a win” to garner commitment from his shoestring army and financial support from the King of France. (It turns out, even in Colonial days, fundraising was a necessary evil).
George Washington effectively utilized spies during the Revolutionary War, and one of them, a man named John Honeywell, managed to infiltrate the hired German soldiers (the Hessions) who were fighting on behalf of Great Brittain. He told General Raul that Washington’s army was in dire straights, disorganized and posed no threat to the Hessions. He was truthful about the first two items. He returned to Washington and effectively described the essential details of the Brittish encampment so that he could plan his attack. The Hessions were flush with food, supplies, uniforms and cash. It turns out they had everything that they needed except “divine inspiration.”
Washington had nothing working in his favor. The men were starving, bare foot, sick, exhausted and broke. Most were hanging on by a prayer, but somehow Washington instilled in them, a sense of divine inspiration. On Christmas morning 1776, Washington and his men crossed 9 miles of the Delaware River through ice and a blistering storm, taking the Hessions by surprise and capturing 900 men. It was our first and possibly most important victory.
I wanted my children to recount this story in the form of a poem so that we could efficiently combine writing and history. What I got was “divine inspiration” that comes only from a sense of mastery. My daughter knew the details of the story so well, that she was beyond them. She went straight to the heart of the matter--the emotional state of the Colonial soldiers and the faith they put in their leader-GW. This is what she wrote and I swear to you, it took her all of 10 minutes. I helped her with the word “anguish”, and that was my sole contribution. I made one other suggestion and she quickly responded, “no Mom, it is exactly as it should be.” She was right. Who am I to interfere with this level of divinity?
American Delaware
Here we are waiting;
cold, bare, wanting to know.
How we will live with those dying,
those poor, anguished, and given up?
We know not how it will go,
that horrible bloody war lying ahead.
They have those which withstand,
have what they have, and create death.
We God forsaken men shall die of hunger, and frost;
loved ones crying at our beds.
Again we will perish for they do not know
we struggle to survive for the fate of our country...America.
Our leader lives with no hatred, only trust in us.
We have let him down for we have died without faith or triumph
He has tried to lift hopes,
but no peace is there.
But our spirit lives on with our dreams,
and we shall live on with our hopes.
~Austin Nicole Eder
age 10, 2/11/09
This was my nauseatingly proud parent moment! Thanks for sharing it with me. I know we have all had them, but I think we need to take the time to marvel in their divinity!
Here’s what happened to us today. We are studying the American Revolution and I wanted the kids to write a poem today about George Washington crossing the Delaware. My recollection of learning this event was very vague. I am pretty sure this subject was covered in one paragraph of a history primer some time during second or third grade and then long forgotten. What we have learned this time around is much more comprehensive because this is now our favorite subject. I need to give a brief accounting of this event so you understand the context of what she wrote. If you are a history buff, bear with me.
George Washington was a hero in the eyes of the Colonists and a “shoe in” as the first General of the Colonial Army. Interestingly, his career as a General, prior to and during the Revolution pretty much consisted of losses in battles. He didn’t exactly have great winning stats behind him. He desperately needed “a win” to garner commitment from his shoestring army and financial support from the King of France. (It turns out, even in Colonial days, fundraising was a necessary evil).
George Washington effectively utilized spies during the Revolutionary War, and one of them, a man named John Honeywell, managed to infiltrate the hired German soldiers (the Hessions) who were fighting on behalf of Great Brittain. He told General Raul that Washington’s army was in dire straights, disorganized and posed no threat to the Hessions. He was truthful about the first two items. He returned to Washington and effectively described the essential details of the Brittish encampment so that he could plan his attack. The Hessions were flush with food, supplies, uniforms and cash. It turns out they had everything that they needed except “divine inspiration.”
Washington had nothing working in his favor. The men were starving, bare foot, sick, exhausted and broke. Most were hanging on by a prayer, but somehow Washington instilled in them, a sense of divine inspiration. On Christmas morning 1776, Washington and his men crossed 9 miles of the Delaware River through ice and a blistering storm, taking the Hessions by surprise and capturing 900 men. It was our first and possibly most important victory.
I wanted my children to recount this story in the form of a poem so that we could efficiently combine writing and history. What I got was “divine inspiration” that comes only from a sense of mastery. My daughter knew the details of the story so well, that she was beyond them. She went straight to the heart of the matter--the emotional state of the Colonial soldiers and the faith they put in their leader-GW. This is what she wrote and I swear to you, it took her all of 10 minutes. I helped her with the word “anguish”, and that was my sole contribution. I made one other suggestion and she quickly responded, “no Mom, it is exactly as it should be.” She was right. Who am I to interfere with this level of divinity?
American Delaware
Here we are waiting;
cold, bare, wanting to know.
How we will live with those dying,
those poor, anguished, and given up?
We know not how it will go,
that horrible bloody war lying ahead.
They have those which withstand,
have what they have, and create death.
We God forsaken men shall die of hunger, and frost;
loved ones crying at our beds.
Again we will perish for they do not know
we struggle to survive for the fate of our country...America.
Our leader lives with no hatred, only trust in us.
We have let him down for we have died without faith or triumph
He has tried to lift hopes,
but no peace is there.
But our spirit lives on with our dreams,
and we shall live on with our hopes.
~Austin Nicole Eder
age 10, 2/11/09
This was my nauseatingly proud parent moment! Thanks for sharing it with me. I know we have all had them, but I think we need to take the time to marvel in their divinity!
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
The Secret to Living is giving! And why Actions Speak Louder Than Words!
Six weeks in and loving it! In my mind, we’re now officially “home schoolers!” I was poignantly reminded of this when we walked into Color Me Mine, a local “make your own pottery place” that we frequent under the guise of “art class”. We were there to pick up our latest masterpieces. The clerk at the counter asked the kids if they had started their Valentines yet, and I chuckled. “We’re home schooled”, I quickly offered. “We don’t have to do those anymore.” And subconsciously, I felt myself release a HUGE sigh of relief as I recalled prior years and what Valentine’s Day meant in our world.
Typically, I hadn’t planned ahead. Usually, it hit me in the early evening the night before that I had again failed as a mother by not preparing for this event in July. My children would be shunned. Where would I find decent Valentines at 7:30 p.m. on a school night? Would I really have the energy to make the pilgrimage to every local Rite Aid until I found them? How could I then coerce my children to stay up until the wee hours of the morning writing notes of endearment to 25 acquaintances that they honestly weren’t that fond of? I even ventured into the extreme danger zone. “What is the worst thing that could happen if we just didn’t bring anything?” Ouch. Thankfully, we never went there. But, we never did school Valentine’s Day very well, and I was overjoyed to realize that I was leaving it behind!
Then, almost miraculously, I noticed a very sweet scene unfolding at the table next to the counter where we awaited our “prized creations”. A young father, with his two, itty bitty daughters had taken their Saturday afternoon to paint heart shaped statues with their heartfelt thoughts of appreciation lovingly expressed in color palettes that only a 3 and 5 year old could conceive of. First and foremost, I was in awe about the fact that he had planned so far ahead. His biggest dilemma now was whether to pay the $5 rush charge to absolutely guarantee, without a doubt that his wife could receive these treasures on Valentine’s Day. (He opted for the rush fee by the way. This guy was committed!)
How wonderful, I thought to myself. He took it upon himself to surprise his wife with these selfless displays of giving and he involved his children in the process. Think of the life lessons. Think of the memories. Think of the love his wife would feel and she opened these treasures on Valentine’s morning! (This guy would be good at homeschooling, I thought). And the amazing thing is (in my opinion at least) that he nailed it! As a mom, what I want most from my loved ones are these earnest and spontaneous gestures of unconditional love. Forget the flowers. Skip the chocolate! It’s appreciation, acknowledgment and a great back rub that I crave more than anything.
How “coincidental” it was that this caught my attention now. Our leadership topic for this week is “It is better to give than to receive”. It left me wondering what it is that my own significant other craves more than anything this Valentine’s Day. How far would a selfless gesture of our appreciation go in his mind? Sounds like an experiment worth pursuing. Hmmm. … I need to start on this now.
It also left me thinking that I could get it together for once in my life and have the kids make Valentines for the people in their life that are truly important to them and maybe, just maybe (I am not promising anything) get them in the mail in time to make a difference on that special day!
I have our “house rules” posted in the heart of our home--our refrigerator. The title, in 72 pt bold type says The Secret to Living is Giving! And this is followed by a list of Eder Family commandments by which we must abide. Somehow, I hope that each day as they grab their physical sustenance, they absorb some spiritual sustenance. I am not sure it is working. In fact, I am pretty sure that they selectively ignore this reminder now. As a back-up plan, I have a great curriculum laid out this for this week with excerpts from “giving gurus” to help my kids understand this important concept; “It is better to give than to receive.” My children will listen with varying degrees of open-mindedness, I am sure.
But sometimes it is the simple things, like actually doing something that mean so much more! Actions do speak louder than words. THERE ARE FOUR DAYS LEFT UNTIL VALENTINE’S DAY, a radio commercial just screamed to me. We’ll be getting busy now!
Typically, I hadn’t planned ahead. Usually, it hit me in the early evening the night before that I had again failed as a mother by not preparing for this event in July. My children would be shunned. Where would I find decent Valentines at 7:30 p.m. on a school night? Would I really have the energy to make the pilgrimage to every local Rite Aid until I found them? How could I then coerce my children to stay up until the wee hours of the morning writing notes of endearment to 25 acquaintances that they honestly weren’t that fond of? I even ventured into the extreme danger zone. “What is the worst thing that could happen if we just didn’t bring anything?” Ouch. Thankfully, we never went there. But, we never did school Valentine’s Day very well, and I was overjoyed to realize that I was leaving it behind!
Then, almost miraculously, I noticed a very sweet scene unfolding at the table next to the counter where we awaited our “prized creations”. A young father, with his two, itty bitty daughters had taken their Saturday afternoon to paint heart shaped statues with their heartfelt thoughts of appreciation lovingly expressed in color palettes that only a 3 and 5 year old could conceive of. First and foremost, I was in awe about the fact that he had planned so far ahead. His biggest dilemma now was whether to pay the $5 rush charge to absolutely guarantee, without a doubt that his wife could receive these treasures on Valentine’s Day. (He opted for the rush fee by the way. This guy was committed!)
How wonderful, I thought to myself. He took it upon himself to surprise his wife with these selfless displays of giving and he involved his children in the process. Think of the life lessons. Think of the memories. Think of the love his wife would feel and she opened these treasures on Valentine’s morning! (This guy would be good at homeschooling, I thought). And the amazing thing is (in my opinion at least) that he nailed it! As a mom, what I want most from my loved ones are these earnest and spontaneous gestures of unconditional love. Forget the flowers. Skip the chocolate! It’s appreciation, acknowledgment and a great back rub that I crave more than anything.
How “coincidental” it was that this caught my attention now. Our leadership topic for this week is “It is better to give than to receive”. It left me wondering what it is that my own significant other craves more than anything this Valentine’s Day. How far would a selfless gesture of our appreciation go in his mind? Sounds like an experiment worth pursuing. Hmmm. … I need to start on this now.
It also left me thinking that I could get it together for once in my life and have the kids make Valentines for the people in their life that are truly important to them and maybe, just maybe (I am not promising anything) get them in the mail in time to make a difference on that special day!
I have our “house rules” posted in the heart of our home--our refrigerator. The title, in 72 pt bold type says The Secret to Living is Giving! And this is followed by a list of Eder Family commandments by which we must abide. Somehow, I hope that each day as they grab their physical sustenance, they absorb some spiritual sustenance. I am not sure it is working. In fact, I am pretty sure that they selectively ignore this reminder now. As a back-up plan, I have a great curriculum laid out this for this week with excerpts from “giving gurus” to help my kids understand this important concept; “It is better to give than to receive.” My children will listen with varying degrees of open-mindedness, I am sure.
But sometimes it is the simple things, like actually doing something that mean so much more! Actions do speak louder than words. THERE ARE FOUR DAYS LEFT UNTIL VALENTINE’S DAY, a radio commercial just screamed to me. We’ll be getting busy now!
Friday, February 6, 2009
Week 5 Wrap up—Unlimited Possibilities.
This week we studied the concept of opening your mind to unlimited possibilities so you can create a masterpiece for your life. There’s a fantastic scene in the musical Wicked in which the main character, the Bad witch Elphaba, reaches her breaking point. If you’re not familiar with this story, she is actually the good witch but society has labeled her as “the bad witch” because of her appearance. And the character we all know as Glenda the good witch in the Wizard of Oz, who is Galinda with a “ga” in Wicked, turns out to not be so good after all.
Elphaba, has been ostracized her whole life for her freakishly green color, and has been told she will never amount to anything. But she knows deep in the crevasses of her soul that she is so much more than the limits that have been placed upon her by herself and others. In the climactic song, Defying Gravity, she vows to vanquish the limits on her life so she can fulfill her destiny and unleash her awesome magical powers to manifest good.
I believe we all have awesome magical powers and we can all do the same!
As part of our leadership series this week, the kids and I partook in a guided meditation that turned us into futuristic warriors with light savors. We ceremoniously zapped the problems out of our lives. With a clear head, we were free to discover the possibilities we can create when there are no limits, self imposed or otherwise, to hold us back.
This process was not only fun, but shed some very interesting insight into the minds of my children. Possibilities emerged such as “becoming the 50th president of the United States”, and “starring as Galinda in the Wicked Musical” and filming a movie on top of the Hollywood sign. Big dreams out of little packages, but entirely attainable with a little focus, preparation and practice.
As adults, how often do we metaphorically try to defy gravity? Dr. Wayne Dyer very wisely suggests that it’s never too late, and that we should not leave this planet with our music still in us. But have the pressures of daily life, our own self doubt, fear of failure and extenuating external circumstances caused us to turn the volume down so low on our own music that we can no longer hear it?
The author, Sark, speaks of bodacious succulent living. I love that phrase! Just the silliness of it puts me immediately in a “no limits” state of mind. I think it’s time for all of us to create some bodacious succulence in our lives. I like to start off each year with this Bodacious Succulence session. I have not called it that in the past. I have simply called it my annual “no limits goals session”, but going forward I have decided to adopt Sark’s language.
This process is very fun whether you do it alone or with someone. All you need is a quiet spot, an open mind, some great inspiring music and something to write with. (The theme from Star Wars works great for the first part of this, by the way).
Here’s what you do: Meditate for a few moments (that simply means be quiet and close your eyes). Become completely child-like and transform yourself into that legend in your own mind--your best warrior self, in full color and larger than life. See yourself on the big screen if it helps. Courageously, fearlessly, relentlessly zap the problems out of your life. See them coming at you from all directions and just vaporize them. Repeat until you have a clear head.
Then put on your inspirational, “no limits” music and think about everything you would like to create in your life. When you find limiting beliefs creeping back into your consciousness, call upon the warrior again, vaporize it and get back to work.
I think you’ll be really surprised at how amazing your list is. Review it. Select your top 3-5 and start working towards your goals. You might find your whole life changes. This process works for me. I have had some of my biggest personal breakthroughs as a result of it, and I am certain I will continue to use it throughout my life. I wanted to teach it to my kids early so they realize that the quality of their life is created by the thoughts they have.
Thoughts are definitely things, and by having the right thoughts, we can create a life of unlimited possibilities! Go on. I dare you to create the life you’ve imagined.
Elphaba, has been ostracized her whole life for her freakishly green color, and has been told she will never amount to anything. But she knows deep in the crevasses of her soul that she is so much more than the limits that have been placed upon her by herself and others. In the climactic song, Defying Gravity, she vows to vanquish the limits on her life so she can fulfill her destiny and unleash her awesome magical powers to manifest good.
I believe we all have awesome magical powers and we can all do the same!
As part of our leadership series this week, the kids and I partook in a guided meditation that turned us into futuristic warriors with light savors. We ceremoniously zapped the problems out of our lives. With a clear head, we were free to discover the possibilities we can create when there are no limits, self imposed or otherwise, to hold us back.
This process was not only fun, but shed some very interesting insight into the minds of my children. Possibilities emerged such as “becoming the 50th president of the United States”, and “starring as Galinda in the Wicked Musical” and filming a movie on top of the Hollywood sign. Big dreams out of little packages, but entirely attainable with a little focus, preparation and practice.
As adults, how often do we metaphorically try to defy gravity? Dr. Wayne Dyer very wisely suggests that it’s never too late, and that we should not leave this planet with our music still in us. But have the pressures of daily life, our own self doubt, fear of failure and extenuating external circumstances caused us to turn the volume down so low on our own music that we can no longer hear it?
The author, Sark, speaks of bodacious succulent living. I love that phrase! Just the silliness of it puts me immediately in a “no limits” state of mind. I think it’s time for all of us to create some bodacious succulence in our lives. I like to start off each year with this Bodacious Succulence session. I have not called it that in the past. I have simply called it my annual “no limits goals session”, but going forward I have decided to adopt Sark’s language.
This process is very fun whether you do it alone or with someone. All you need is a quiet spot, an open mind, some great inspiring music and something to write with. (The theme from Star Wars works great for the first part of this, by the way).
Here’s what you do: Meditate for a few moments (that simply means be quiet and close your eyes). Become completely child-like and transform yourself into that legend in your own mind--your best warrior self, in full color and larger than life. See yourself on the big screen if it helps. Courageously, fearlessly, relentlessly zap the problems out of your life. See them coming at you from all directions and just vaporize them. Repeat until you have a clear head.
Then put on your inspirational, “no limits” music and think about everything you would like to create in your life. When you find limiting beliefs creeping back into your consciousness, call upon the warrior again, vaporize it and get back to work.
I think you’ll be really surprised at how amazing your list is. Review it. Select your top 3-5 and start working towards your goals. You might find your whole life changes. This process works for me. I have had some of my biggest personal breakthroughs as a result of it, and I am certain I will continue to use it throughout my life. I wanted to teach it to my kids early so they realize that the quality of their life is created by the thoughts they have.
Thoughts are definitely things, and by having the right thoughts, we can create a life of unlimited possibilities! Go on. I dare you to create the life you’ve imagined.
Thursday, February 5, 2009
The 3rd Great Thing about Home School-- Eating Like Our Lives Depend on It!
You are what you eat, from your head down to your feet. Isn’t that the truth? The challenge when my kids were in traditional school was that I never knew what they were eating. I sent them away everyday with their lunch boxes filled with wholesome healthy food. My son often opted for recess over lunch and didn’t eat a thing all day, which lead to concentration deficiencies, mood swings and incidents of hypoglycemia.
I never did figure out what my daughter was eating. Sometimes she came home with an empty box. Sometimes there were remnants of items she had obviously traded away for something much more “highly coveted” by her elementary school culinary standards. I had nightmares wondering what she may have ingested, and constantly wondered which kid in her class was benefitting from my carefully selected, nutritional items. And then, horror of horrors, she coerced me into participating in the school lunch program. I now understand exactly how my mother felt—defeated and guilty!
I am admittedly, somewhat of a “food purist” at this point in my life. When I hit 40 a few years ago depleted of energy and vitality, I realized that the “root cause” of my lethargy was my nutrition and if I didn’t turn things around, by the time I was 60, I would be out of steam. I am planning on reaching at least 100, so eating poorly wasn’t an option. Going forward, I decided, I would have to eat as if my life depended on it, literally!
Interestingly, I had always considered myself a healthy eater, so facing the fact that I was very under informed was hard on my ego. I learned that due to my poor eating habits and extreme stress from my role as an entrepreneur, wife and mother, I was an acid producing machine. I had become a veritable “Petri dish” for toxicity, disease, and even potentially, cancer growth. I had created the perfect environment in my system to quickly destroy itself. I can only hope that through a series of cleanses, I have removed that toxicity and there are no remnants hanging around from the old days.
Anyway, I launched a two year, massive personal research study on food, nutrition, detoxification, and hormones. And slowly, over the course of those two years, completely changed what my family eats when we are in our house. How did I do this? I read and read and read the best resources I could find and then formed my opinions when three or more experts seemed to be saying the same thing and had the research to back it. I attended seminars, fasted and cleansed to reduce toxins in my system. I have even become an avid enthusiast of the “dreaded colon cleanse.” I can’t say enough about it!
Granted, I am still not as thin as I would like to be because I haven’t made exercise a daily MUST for myself, although my “really clean friend”, guru and yogi master Gina, recently inspired me to get back into yoga. Thank you Gina! Even though I average about 5-7 hours of sleep a night, still have more than enough energy to give each day my best.
Applying these eating habits in my family while we were in traditional school often did not go as planned. I managed to keep myself on my track fairly well, and when I could find time to cook, my family ate well. But like many other families in the US, we were starved for time and nutrition. I was caught on the proverbial treadmill, juggling work, carpools, errands, kids, and husband. I held up the “white flag” too often as I surrendered to the fast food alternative, just for the sake of quieting the hunger cries from my tribe while adhering to schedules. This created nothing but bad habits and deep inner conflict. More guilt, thank you. Don’t Mom’s already have enough?
Which leads me to what I love about home school…The food guilt complex is obliterated!
We eat almost all our meals at home now, prepared by me and monitored by me. My family is eating well. My son has grown 6 inches in the last 8 months and I can only attribute it to the improvement in diet. I share information about food and healthy living practices, including my feelings about the importance of colon cleansing with the kids on a regular basis. They cringe and giggle, but there is mounting evidence that they have been listening.
My 9 year old son is very health conscious now and carefully monitors his glucose/protein balance on his own. He has virtually eliminated sugar from his diet, with the exception of the occasional treat here and there. I feed him his vitamin packed smoothies daily so I know he is getting all his essential nutrients and fatty acids.
My daughter remains resistant my healthy smoothies and is by all accounts, a true “junk food junkie” who would eat donuts daily if allowed. And it’s unfortunate, because she is a gifted dancer who will need good eating habits for peak performance. But I was shocked just recently when we were caught in a now rare situation which called for a fast food solution. I meekly suggested Burger King. She declared, “Mom, can’t we go someplace healthier, I feel really bad when I eat fast food.” And today, she said, “Mom, I am really starting to dislike dairy. I really don’t feel good when I eat it. I am going to find alternatives.” Wow! Not to say she won’t continue to be child-like in her food choices. She’s only 10. My expectations are relatively low. But that was completely unexpected!
I guess we’re all on the program now to one degree or another, eating as though our lives depend on it. I'll let you know when they request a colon cleanse.
I never did figure out what my daughter was eating. Sometimes she came home with an empty box. Sometimes there were remnants of items she had obviously traded away for something much more “highly coveted” by her elementary school culinary standards. I had nightmares wondering what she may have ingested, and constantly wondered which kid in her class was benefitting from my carefully selected, nutritional items. And then, horror of horrors, she coerced me into participating in the school lunch program. I now understand exactly how my mother felt—defeated and guilty!
I am admittedly, somewhat of a “food purist” at this point in my life. When I hit 40 a few years ago depleted of energy and vitality, I realized that the “root cause” of my lethargy was my nutrition and if I didn’t turn things around, by the time I was 60, I would be out of steam. I am planning on reaching at least 100, so eating poorly wasn’t an option. Going forward, I decided, I would have to eat as if my life depended on it, literally!
Interestingly, I had always considered myself a healthy eater, so facing the fact that I was very under informed was hard on my ego. I learned that due to my poor eating habits and extreme stress from my role as an entrepreneur, wife and mother, I was an acid producing machine. I had become a veritable “Petri dish” for toxicity, disease, and even potentially, cancer growth. I had created the perfect environment in my system to quickly destroy itself. I can only hope that through a series of cleanses, I have removed that toxicity and there are no remnants hanging around from the old days.
Anyway, I launched a two year, massive personal research study on food, nutrition, detoxification, and hormones. And slowly, over the course of those two years, completely changed what my family eats when we are in our house. How did I do this? I read and read and read the best resources I could find and then formed my opinions when three or more experts seemed to be saying the same thing and had the research to back it. I attended seminars, fasted and cleansed to reduce toxins in my system. I have even become an avid enthusiast of the “dreaded colon cleanse.” I can’t say enough about it!
Granted, I am still not as thin as I would like to be because I haven’t made exercise a daily MUST for myself, although my “really clean friend”, guru and yogi master Gina, recently inspired me to get back into yoga. Thank you Gina! Even though I average about 5-7 hours of sleep a night, still have more than enough energy to give each day my best.
Applying these eating habits in my family while we were in traditional school often did not go as planned. I managed to keep myself on my track fairly well, and when I could find time to cook, my family ate well. But like many other families in the US, we were starved for time and nutrition. I was caught on the proverbial treadmill, juggling work, carpools, errands, kids, and husband. I held up the “white flag” too often as I surrendered to the fast food alternative, just for the sake of quieting the hunger cries from my tribe while adhering to schedules. This created nothing but bad habits and deep inner conflict. More guilt, thank you. Don’t Mom’s already have enough?
Which leads me to what I love about home school…The food guilt complex is obliterated!
We eat almost all our meals at home now, prepared by me and monitored by me. My family is eating well. My son has grown 6 inches in the last 8 months and I can only attribute it to the improvement in diet. I share information about food and healthy living practices, including my feelings about the importance of colon cleansing with the kids on a regular basis. They cringe and giggle, but there is mounting evidence that they have been listening.
My 9 year old son is very health conscious now and carefully monitors his glucose/protein balance on his own. He has virtually eliminated sugar from his diet, with the exception of the occasional treat here and there. I feed him his vitamin packed smoothies daily so I know he is getting all his essential nutrients and fatty acids.
My daughter remains resistant my healthy smoothies and is by all accounts, a true “junk food junkie” who would eat donuts daily if allowed. And it’s unfortunate, because she is a gifted dancer who will need good eating habits for peak performance. But I was shocked just recently when we were caught in a now rare situation which called for a fast food solution. I meekly suggested Burger King. She declared, “Mom, can’t we go someplace healthier, I feel really bad when I eat fast food.” And today, she said, “Mom, I am really starting to dislike dairy. I really don’t feel good when I eat it. I am going to find alternatives.” Wow! Not to say she won’t continue to be child-like in her food choices. She’s only 10. My expectations are relatively low. But that was completely unexpected!
I guess we’re all on the program now to one degree or another, eating as though our lives depend on it. I'll let you know when they request a colon cleanse.
Week 4 Wrap Up: Be like Wall-e and Find One Green Thing to Nurture.
These blogs usually come in a flood of inspiration, and when they do, they flow from my brain to my hands faster than I can type. This week I have struggled. How could I top last week’s wrap up on unconditional love? I’ve thought about it all week, and the fact that we didn’t make as much progress as I had hoped for on the second half of our “unconditional love studies” left me with very little to be inspired about. But, I have learned that given time, the inspiration always comes.
And there it was, right at the forefront of my emotions. My dear friend of 33 years, who was scheduled for a radical mastectomy today, provided the source of inspiration and reminded me that our treasured friendships which are so easily and often neglected are one of our most readily available sources of giving and receiving unconditional love.
She called me a few hours before the surgery with a last minute request pertaining to her daughter. It was a BIG ONE and it took approximately 5 seconds to respond to her with my one word response, “YES!” Although I did qualify my response by saying that I needed to discuss it with my better half. I called her back one minute later with his 2 word response, “of course”. Maybe husbands who love wives unconditionally, transfer that love to their wives’ “unconditionally loved friends”. Just a theory.
I am not making myself or my hubby a hero. The hero in this story spent 10 hours on the operating table today enduring what no woman should have to endure. I was, however, simply and profoundly reminded how effortless our decisions and actions are when it comes to those we love unconditionally.
Interestingly, our anger, resentment and judgment are often as effortless. We fly off the handle, over react, judge and criticize without a second thought, and we feel “justified” while unleashing our wrath. The tougher challenge for us human is transferring the same type of thoughtless, selfless love we so readily bestow on our loved ones to those who are unknown to us—the strangers we encounter who we judge instantaneously by the clothes they wear, the way they look, their social class, the neighborhood they live in or some other superficial quality like their culture, race, or religions. When we transfer anger and judgment instead of love and acceptance, we lower the energy vibration around us. What we all really want is to be loved.
Tonight, I was fortunate to have a few hours alone with my son to watch one of his favorite movies, Wall E. I highly recommend it. The main character, Wall-e, is a lonely robot left on an earth that has been abandoned by humans. Wall-e has a directive, to collect and compact junk into junk bricks which are used to build things on this forsaken planet formerly known as Earth.
As he moves through his daily routine, completely and utterly alone, he saves a few treasures from the trash for his own use and enjoyment. Interestingly, his favorite items are a video tape of the musical, Hello Dolly, and a single green seedling of a plant which he keeps in a boot. As far as we can tell, it’s the only plant left on earth and he nurtures it carefully. Every so often, he pauses from the routine of his day to be inspired as the stars of the musical sing his favorite lines from the theme song, “all we want is to be loved our whole life long”.
I don’t know how to solve this love problem. It is epidemic. I just know that one conscious move in a positive direction per day by each human being on this planet will add up to a big difference over time.
So, take inventory. If you are lucky enough to have a few priceless friends and loved ones in your life, surprise them with an outreach of your most heartfelt appreciation and gratitude. And then take it one step farther.
In every situation, with every person you meet, look for the “one green thing” to appreciate and nuture, and together, we can watch the world grow in unconditional love.
And there it was, right at the forefront of my emotions. My dear friend of 33 years, who was scheduled for a radical mastectomy today, provided the source of inspiration and reminded me that our treasured friendships which are so easily and often neglected are one of our most readily available sources of giving and receiving unconditional love.
She called me a few hours before the surgery with a last minute request pertaining to her daughter. It was a BIG ONE and it took approximately 5 seconds to respond to her with my one word response, “YES!” Although I did qualify my response by saying that I needed to discuss it with my better half. I called her back one minute later with his 2 word response, “of course”. Maybe husbands who love wives unconditionally, transfer that love to their wives’ “unconditionally loved friends”. Just a theory.
I am not making myself or my hubby a hero. The hero in this story spent 10 hours on the operating table today enduring what no woman should have to endure. I was, however, simply and profoundly reminded how effortless our decisions and actions are when it comes to those we love unconditionally.
Interestingly, our anger, resentment and judgment are often as effortless. We fly off the handle, over react, judge and criticize without a second thought, and we feel “justified” while unleashing our wrath. The tougher challenge for us human is transferring the same type of thoughtless, selfless love we so readily bestow on our loved ones to those who are unknown to us—the strangers we encounter who we judge instantaneously by the clothes they wear, the way they look, their social class, the neighborhood they live in or some other superficial quality like their culture, race, or religions. When we transfer anger and judgment instead of love and acceptance, we lower the energy vibration around us. What we all really want is to be loved.
Tonight, I was fortunate to have a few hours alone with my son to watch one of his favorite movies, Wall E. I highly recommend it. The main character, Wall-e, is a lonely robot left on an earth that has been abandoned by humans. Wall-e has a directive, to collect and compact junk into junk bricks which are used to build things on this forsaken planet formerly known as Earth.
As he moves through his daily routine, completely and utterly alone, he saves a few treasures from the trash for his own use and enjoyment. Interestingly, his favorite items are a video tape of the musical, Hello Dolly, and a single green seedling of a plant which he keeps in a boot. As far as we can tell, it’s the only plant left on earth and he nurtures it carefully. Every so often, he pauses from the routine of his day to be inspired as the stars of the musical sing his favorite lines from the theme song, “all we want is to be loved our whole life long”.
I don’t know how to solve this love problem. It is epidemic. I just know that one conscious move in a positive direction per day by each human being on this planet will add up to a big difference over time.
So, take inventory. If you are lucky enough to have a few priceless friends and loved ones in your life, surprise them with an outreach of your most heartfelt appreciation and gratitude. And then take it one step farther.
In every situation, with every person you meet, look for the “one green thing” to appreciate and nuture, and together, we can watch the world grow in unconditional love.
Monday, February 2, 2009
Home School as a Place for Manifesting Miracles.
Whoever said home school was going to be easy should be taken out into the back alley for a little whoopin’! We have mostly great days, but occasionally, a real “dog downer of a day” comes along and we need a miracle to pull us through. A miracle, by definition, is an achievement by a person or group of people of an impossible goal through specific thoughts and actions. Successful home schooling, I am finding, is contingent our ability to manifest miracles.
Each day, we enter the room with our collective “stuff”. Not our physical stuff (i.e. books, computers, etc…). But our metaphysical stuff--our attitudes, our moods, our worries and responsibilities from outside the classroom, our sibling rivalry, our distractions, and our expectations. If I walk into the room with even a hint of this metaphysical baggage, they are on me like a hound dog following a scent trail at a crime scene. Somehow, by the grace of God and my own will power, I must package up all this stuff and put it aside in order to allow the miracles to come forth.
I have a new found respect for teachers and the teaching profession. I have a newfound respect for any home schoolin’ mama who has been doing this successfully for more than a month. Any teacher or mom who can hold a child’s interest and respect for an extended period of time has creative skills that could make them millions if they had chosen another profession. They must have a higher purpose in mind.
As human beings, we have a dichotomy of needs including the need for certainty and uncertainty. We need a little “meat and potatoes” and we need a little “spice”. The trick is balancing the structure and repetition with the plain old fun. Repetition is the mother of skill, but repetition can quickly create boredom and frustration which (in our house) gets expressed in interludes involving rolling and writhing on the floor in protest, picking on siblings, and storming out of the room for a little added drama.
On these days, I do the only thing I know how to do…plead to the powers that be (the kids of course) for help. Getting a healthy dose of “kiddie criticism” allows me to find opportunities to improve my “techniques”.
Evidently, per my children, Jeopardy, is desperately needed in our home school if we want to progress in the miracle manifestation department. I don’t even watch Jeopardy, so this all seems a little overwhelming. Never mind. I have enlisted their help to create the Power Point template that will allow me provide a weekly outlet for fun. That counts as computer class, right? It sounds thrilling. It sounds creative. It sounds like a small miracle will be needed to make this happen.
But I am now a creative and resourceful home schoolin' mama. I can manifest miracles daily!
Each day, we enter the room with our collective “stuff”. Not our physical stuff (i.e. books, computers, etc…). But our metaphysical stuff--our attitudes, our moods, our worries and responsibilities from outside the classroom, our sibling rivalry, our distractions, and our expectations. If I walk into the room with even a hint of this metaphysical baggage, they are on me like a hound dog following a scent trail at a crime scene. Somehow, by the grace of God and my own will power, I must package up all this stuff and put it aside in order to allow the miracles to come forth.
I have a new found respect for teachers and the teaching profession. I have a newfound respect for any home schoolin’ mama who has been doing this successfully for more than a month. Any teacher or mom who can hold a child’s interest and respect for an extended period of time has creative skills that could make them millions if they had chosen another profession. They must have a higher purpose in mind.
As human beings, we have a dichotomy of needs including the need for certainty and uncertainty. We need a little “meat and potatoes” and we need a little “spice”. The trick is balancing the structure and repetition with the plain old fun. Repetition is the mother of skill, but repetition can quickly create boredom and frustration which (in our house) gets expressed in interludes involving rolling and writhing on the floor in protest, picking on siblings, and storming out of the room for a little added drama.
On these days, I do the only thing I know how to do…plead to the powers that be (the kids of course) for help. Getting a healthy dose of “kiddie criticism” allows me to find opportunities to improve my “techniques”.
Evidently, per my children, Jeopardy, is desperately needed in our home school if we want to progress in the miracle manifestation department. I don’t even watch Jeopardy, so this all seems a little overwhelming. Never mind. I have enlisted their help to create the Power Point template that will allow me provide a weekly outlet for fun. That counts as computer class, right? It sounds thrilling. It sounds creative. It sounds like a small miracle will be needed to make this happen.
But I am now a creative and resourceful home schoolin' mama. I can manifest miracles daily!
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